Death from yesterday

wow… that was a rotten day yesterday I had a migrane so bad I couldn’t deal with life! I cant believe it … but its gone now thanks for my lovely Davis who took care of me. He’s a sweety and I really don’t know what I’d do without him…. so I don’t remember too much about yesterday…

I’m not too worried about money like I was the last time, I’m still pretty stressed over it like I was, but that’s a private thing too… You’ll find out soon about why. I know its not important how much I’ve been stressing… and what the hell… I’ve been listening to Weird Al a lot lately… the new CD is actually really good… I think i have to switch to Maroon5 soon… mmmmm… thats a little better.

We went to lunch at Applebee’s today since we could in between my classes and since hes off today. I really hate when I’m busy when he’s home like this but I want us to have a good life together. I love him a lot… we met this nice girl at lunch she was our waitress but she went to my college and it was so funny because she was a soc major and is going for her grad degree and we talked about how useless our degrees are but someday we’ll be out of food service and have good jobs that pay a lot. She lives with an Actor Musician so they’re living in a cardboard box… and i said I married someone with a real job to keep myself out of the box. She was a sweety, I liked getting to talk to her and Davis and I talked about Haircuts and wild hair and Donna and her mullet thing….

Last night at work was a really long night and I had to leave early because of the migrane. I don’t get them a lot but last night was just a killer…. and we ran out of little carrot cakes and that made me so sad because that meant I had to be Cinderella and clean like hell and with all the bending and stretching I just felt sick sick sick. We spent lunch together and I thought i was getting better but i was so close to puking too, i guess that might have made me feel better but i didn’t. So i went home at 8 instead of 9. I really, really didn’t want to loose the hour of pay like I did but I just couldn’t make it. Went home… I was so happy when he got there and he told me he got me into a bath and took good care of me and i think i was asleep from 8:30 to almost 9 this morning and now I feel like i have a headache hangover. Everyone knows what that feeling is. I’m just glad that its totally gone now.

well, I have class at 2:20 and i need to do my readings and a few other things … so I guess i’ll end this one and post more later. When I get out of class Davis and I are going to go clothes shopping for him… I really hope we find him some nice Cargo pants… He’ll look good in them,

First Saturday

that I’m not working or have a football game to be at … and it feels kinda good but at the same time its a little bit sad to know that my time in marching band is really, really over. i really should be cleaning up the house and doing dishes but i just want to post beforei forget to do it. 

The babies are so cute, they’ve gotten so big and Davis and I are back talking seriously (not like we ever really weren’t) about working on having a baby. It’s not like we weren’t serious, a lot of that was a bit of my problem because ive been scared. I know its a big adjustment to life and a huge change but I know its getting to be time for things like this. It’s been so much up and down over the past 2 years. 

I like not having to be at a game today but some parts of me are sad about it because I feel like thats another part of that life I had is gone. I think I grew up a lot in the past 2 years and I was done last year. I jsut want to get done with school sometimes and move on with this part of my life. But sometimes I don’t think i want to do it the way I am. Not leave Davis, I’m happy with him. There is just so much drama. 

I think after I go see him for lunch I’m going to do some cleaning before work tomorrow. I need to get quarters too for laundry since its that time of the month and I’m not happy. 

I don’t really know what to post about. There are a lot of things going on in my head… like the fact that i’m graduating from here in a may and have to get my life in order… and I’m really worried about money…I’m not going to put that all in here, i have my little list on this paper beside me about how i’m going to pay the bills and make sure I do my part to get us up to date. I don’t want us to be behind anymore and I realize that a lot of that was from last year was my problem for not getting my priorities in line. This is all jsut so new to me. I don’t really understand how imporant some of this stuff is because he is older than me and has more lief expeirence in some things. That doesn’t upset me, just like knowing hes stronger than me and bigger than me cant.

I want the bills call caught up by november… I don’t know how its going to happen…it will i’m not too worried, I just have to keep doing my part. I guess… well… other than being mistreated in the ensamble is the fact that I know i need to work … its better if I am. and yes, i am very sad in my own way about not doing band anymore but i jsut had to make sure my priorities were in line… and when it really got to the bottom of it …well… makeing sure we don’t loose th land… and the other things… well… I made my choices didn’t I?

My mother gave me money… there was something else I wanted to do with it, but i cant in good conscious… no… we’re a team… and that means more to me than anything else in this world. i just worry about the check from Alice… I hope that its good still. I’m actually almost terrifdied to cash it now… but its money that i know we need. I have maple story up too and other things i need to do… 

I wanted to go dancing tonight but I can’t… I know he gave me the $20 to get money for laundry and to go dancing if i want to go… but my hip still hurts from yesterday and i really should get a new spong for dishes… I just… this is why i stopped going to contra last year… there will always be another dance… 

I wish i could get my check thursday I have to get the payment for thel and in the mail by thursday… i keep starting to talk about money in here and i really shouldn’t.

i love my job

Firstly i got an 90/100 on my first assignment i couldn’t believei t and i would have had a perfect or close if i didn’t forget that one of the letters is connecting and i just forgot. i am so proud of myself and tonight i got to clsoe with charles and make this cute little cookie cake which is always a kick to make something new. marissa got on me about my engadgement ring but thats why my wedding band is plain but the cke was amusing. i keep saying im going to write doen what i use to make those tihngs so when i have my own store or something i have a few little secrets an tricks of my own that aren’t really mine but i have some things id change. 

his wife is 16 years younger than him and we were talking about age differences and things. oh it was great. and people who suck. the only problem was that i popped my hip slipping on the floor  since it was wet…. good night over all. i go back in sunday at 7 and thats good for me… i kinda like not working ever day. i mean its nice to know i have some days off. i jsut don’t know how i’d get to keep this schedule for the reast of the year. 

anyway… not too much else is going on … other than my period started and i bled through my white pants …. i am so pissed off laundry tomorrow…… and my poor guy got sick at the food store, who puts latex in the god damn dog leaches so im really worried about him still … this is just another reason im happy he didn’t get that promotion to flooring i was scared hed get sick and id not know soon enough or something else. i know thats sucha small chance but i love him so much and i don’t want anything to happen to him… hes my guy. So I’m trying to take care of him now… i know hes going to be okay… but its just that i hate when that happens.

Free at last free at last

I cant deal with band anymore that fucking whore has hurt me fir the last time… she cant shair she comes lateer than all of us to rehersals and I am tired of feeling like shes going out of her way to make trouble with me! We were friends… I taught the damn kid how to pump her own gass. I hope my kids don’t act like this with me… I feel like a part with a lot of the moco people. 

But I talked to my mother… well… let me start over… went to get my car foxed with my father this morning and made this msitake of waiting with him to get it done and we talked about school and about a bunch of other things and band but i was so angry with him about it because he was right about something i ahve to make my own priorities and i realized that working is more important than being in the band…so before my lesson and after class today i walked down to the music building, got my stuff out of my car and took it up to barnes office, put on the waterworks a bit to sound upset and told him i quit because of teh treatment of myself and the rest of the section. sad thing is he thought one talk would have fixed the whole thing and i just said its not working if its not enforced. 

i feel so free! he was sad to see me go! but i told the others from pit about it but Cindy and Mary but thats ok and the others felt bad but knew how i felt and its not like i wont see them its a small school. but it was better to go to work and not feel like im not going to die because i have no time to take care of myself and my life here too. 

went to work tonight and it was pretty good, i got to try the new carrot cake and it was great, i hate that too… everyone is pretty happy i left band. bleh… all i want to do is sleep for the past week i wonder if I’m gretting sick or something is up with me… im starting to get worried.