ugh


I’m still home… I wanna cry… I feel bad … my throat hurts and my ears are stuffy and i have a doctors appointment… and I still have to go back to college….

I don’t wanna go!!!!!!!!

I can do the doctor… he’s going to help me at 11… I’m gonna start to feel better… but its the whole idea that I still have to go back to school when I really don’t wanna leave my house and everything here again for another week…

well, i bitch too much… and me whining and crying isn’t making it better… I just … blah…. I wanna feel better already…

urk


i came home for the weekend and as me and my mammy were sitting down to eat dinner she started choking on a HUGE piece of bok choy and it was scary

because she pulled it out of her throat herself… and then it was all okay….

She’s ok now… but now I’m all scared of choking … more than I usually am… but it was scary and groce at the same time… I’m just glad she’s ok now…

I’m gonna go back to baking again…

Ach….


Its like I want to post but I’m so… I don’t know…only one more sleep until I get to go home for the weekend… for my daddys birthday and for a bunch of other things.

I miss life being simple, really. Its never been easy.. it just seems to be getting even harder now….

Stolen from starlightminako


Your Personality As Determined By Your Hair by Liriel_Nightrose
Your Name
Your Hair Length LongMediumShortUltra-short (military style)Hair?  What’s this hair of which you speak?
Your Hair Thickness Very ThickAverage ThicknessA little on the fine and wispy side sideStringyThinThickness?  I’m as bald as the day I was born
Your Hair Color BlondeAuburnBrownChestnutBlackSilverGraySalt and PepperPlatinumBright RedOrangeBlueGreenPurpleYellowAny other colors of the rainbow I missedCan I dye my head?
Your Hair Style CurlyStraightFrizzyFrizzy as all hellWavySpikyGreased back like tha Fonz!  ^_^Comb-overI oil the skin on my head.  Does that count?Boufaunt  (Elvis)
The Good News is that You/You have no trouble making friends, the life of the party, gives the world the finger
The Bad News is that You/You are quick to speak without thinking, very opinionated, quick-tempered, can be very bossy
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I wonder …


I forgot…. hot keys on macs are different than on windows…. and I lost my whole post… god dammit… I don’t wanna have to do this again…

but I will…

why is it that my LJ seems to stay logged in on this god damn piece of crap mac with the aim quick buddy popus all the time, but on y laptop wher eits set to stay logged in … it never does… can someone explain this to me?

Well, Scratch that, no one has to explain anything to me, I know why. Rethorical question. Everyone shut up 😛

I’m not as cranky today… yay … thats a good thing. My head isn’t throbbing again either… yay…

What was I going to say… OH YEAH

~~

So… I talked to Sabiah again last night… he still wants to see me, I don’t get it. Well, cerberus broke up with him, that could have a lot to do with it. he doesn’t have a fuck buddy anymore, aint that just too bad for you Sabiah…

…….and I jut got floss caught in my back teeth and it feels really weird… and I can’t seem to get it out with more floss… DAMMIT… I’m stuck here for another 45 minutes…maybe I’ll try again with the floss… all because I thought something else was stuck in my teeth… now there’s more! EW EW EW!

ahhh… I think I got it out finally… I’m so going to brush when I get home… I need to brush my teeth more…. I feel so grose lately…

Where was I again…Oh yeah… ok… Well, we were talknig and I told him to give johnny the 1/2 sun to give back to me when he sees me… because I don’t want to see sabiah, as much as I once cared for him all of my love, my friendship has been lost to him by those last months and weeks I spent at NHHS… when he treated me like CRAP!!!!

I don’t put up with that stuff from anyone, especally an underling like him. What did I ever see in him?!

BUT HE STILL WANTS TO SEE ME and said he’ll wait until december, he calls that a reasonable amount of time…. uh… I have a lot of finals and things and expecially with this transferr thing starting up I really don’t have the time to get into all of this crap with him again … note the word AGAIN

I’m not making the same mistakes again with him…I hae more to loose this time then I ever had before… I don’t want to loose john if I talk to Dave, I can’t divide my loyalties. It makes sence to me, thats all that matters…

I talked to my mom lastnight about this too… thats how I’m so sure about these things… I just want my 1/2 sun back… I can wear them both… I want it back so I can feel like I have freedom from him and everything I once felt about him. No one is ever going ot have either of those pieces ever AGAIN. EVER…. its a bond… but I don’t want to form a bond lik that with anyone else…

hey, I finally figured out how to lower the chair! yay…. it only took me forever! well, since I got here at 3:15 …

johnnys changing for the better and I know if I talk to the other idiot I risk loosing him forever… I don’t want to loose him because of my idiocy…

My schools homecomming is this saturday… North’s is 10/16… I’m not going to the dance here, I have no connections to this school… I don’t hate it here, I’m just not happy… well, not inlove with everything …

Today was Dress in Drag day for spirit week… Sean looked like a fool… Bradley and Thomas actually looked like real women, and could have fooled people… and then there was Morish… he wore a kilt with boxers under it **THANK YOU JESUS** but Billy wore a thong… that was really, really, really funny…

I dressed like someone from the MIB today… i’ll probably do it again tomorrow… well, wait… tomorrow is “Dress Tacky” day… hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. I don’t have anything that tacky… I don’t wanna look tacky … I never had any school spirit anyway…

~ ~ ~

I really don’t know what else to post in here right now… this is probably one of te biggest posts, if not THE biggest since I got to this shithole… .but I know they’re going to get harder and harder to do once I get the yarn to do johnny’s christmas present… I have about 3 months to complete it … I hope to go it works out right… I’ll be so miserable if it doesn’t… I just hope that he likes it… I’m really worried he won’t… 32-33ish minutes left… I’m gonna go scan over the old LJs and see what I’ve been missing

~*~ Chao ~*~