ZOMG HE GOT ME A NINTENDO WII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its AMAZING!!! its the special happy 25th birthday Mario edition and it has netflix!!! omg its the coolest thing i dont even know what to think!!!!! 

 and he got me a giftcard to get a game too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want sonic but now i can play DDR! omg i dont even know what to think! 

Today is a good day and a new day… Today i go for career counseling at my old college to talk to them and see what i can do with my degrees to get a real good job and not be working in a food store forever. I’m excited about this because i know this is going to help for the best of my family.

in other news… I’ve kinda talked about this before but it’s hard for me … my mom is so upset she had to go for a breast ultrasound today because they found something strange on both sides. She’s never had this happen before … she’s had them look at one side or the other but she feels sick over it. That and everything else that has been going on with us lately. She’s so upset and mad and sad and sick… I want things to be better for my mommy … I cant be the one to do everything either.

I talked to my Aunt Maria last night too, shes not really my aunt but she’s close family … my moms  best friend since we lived in Palatine almost 20 years ago. She wanted to know about everything and now said that she feels better about being happy for Davis and for me because she can  talk to me openly now. She never knew what kind of person i am or ever was because my mom did such a good job of keeping me … i dont think secret is a good word… but i was always put up so high for her. it was hard and sad but it felt good to talk to someone who’s like family finally and be able to get my words out.

I got the last of the christmas cards written … and i have to throw them in the mail… I just have to get the house cleaned up today and the laundry done and then everything i wanted to do today will be done. We’re very short on money… but its hard with me working straight through until Christmas day to get other things done.

Oh! I’ll post a picture of the tree later too! and we went to kindlemart on Saturday night … i hated we had no money … but i loved that we went and had a good time together and just got to enjoy each other. I love him … I hate that he popped his knee going up the Church Street hill …. oh! and we went to Lights in the Parkway on Thursday! That was absolutely beautiful I wish we could go again…

ok, time for me to get walking… I need to finishing my 1st degree final exam while i am on break from PH.D … I can do that … I have to be able to do that…

and i go to a new specialist for my shoulder soon too…

Stoooopid doctors appointment

I went … they released me … to go to another doctor and get my shoulder further examined. until then i can only do 4 hours a day … no more than 20 a week. So i have to go in January to this new specialist because they want my shoulder to get better and its not. someone who deals with specific muscle problems. its like … fuck… so hopefully it’ll get better.

i tried to talk to my mother too and she ripped me a new one too … in the wawa… i cried because i was so upset. For someone who said she doesn’t care about soem things… but she doesn’t act like it… whatever … im tired of crying.