emily and i went out and i got a game today … she was busy though so we could only go for a short time, like 20 minutes … i just wanted to get out of the house and get some things …. but thats not what i want to say… I got SONIC RUSH ADVENTURE and its seriously like little portable crack!
I love it.
Today was uneventful to say the least… watched semi with my mom this morning… Davis is at work… so i have a whole day again to do nothing by myself… so thats okay too but sometimes i think i’d love to do more things with him on his days off or my days off… inventory is coming up so thats a whole different animal … i wish our days off lined up more, i should change my availabililty to work like that but i like the days i work …. i should just do open from now on anyway maybe it would help me get full time
i feel bad for spending some of my graduation money on myself … i know its going to be gone so fast… it makes me so sad that it will… but i feel the need to pay bills with it so i can be helpful… i wanted to do somthing fun with it and i know it was my money to do with what i need to do…
for all the things i mess up in this relationship the least i can do is try to get all the bills caught up…i know its not the same thing as fixing it… im not that stupid
well, it wasn’t a bad trip back to see her and i guess thats suprising really… i mean… it was a good time and i really felt this pang of guilt for being away so long.
not a bad day…im just starting to get homesick now… i like my own bed and things are kinda hard here for me… i guess i can post tomorrow if i remember a 2 day thing makes more sense to me than just posting about today …. i think.
my period is still late … this will be day 6 today… i don’t know whats going on with my body.
i got the scholarship … its 1500 a year, 750 a semester and i can renew it for 4 years. im so excited!!! i had to call them though because i never got my letter and got anything else and it was sent somewhere weird and i just called but im thilled that i got it! thats just a little more money i dont have to pay!
i think i got whatever Davis has …. i feel like shit
im tired …. i want to sleep… the bed is too hard for me to sleep on … davis is sleeping so well on it though… so im awake… the worst part is I was sleeping great until he came to bed…..
i love my dear friend artie, hes like my brother but he just is about to get fired from his job and hasnt’ told anyone yet because hes on paid lave but wanted to talk to me about it …
i think he needs to get a better job because this one hes at is evil i worry about when he tells them about this because its going to not go over too well.
so ive spent alot of today with him… i’ve gotten a little bit of what ive needed to do today done but so much more … blah… at least some of the house is clean
so i graduated on saturday and its like… it was great of course… i have to say that its required… but we get out and they think they’re going to help me get out of the dorm room and i didnt want to because my father is old, my mother is sick and it didnt seem fair for me to have them do that …. so yeah…
they decide to go and i dont want to be there… this is so hard for me to talk about … i got up to get my diploma after yelling for all the people i thought were my friends and i couldn’t hear anyone clapping for me, i felt raelly bad and sad and lonely and then people started to laugh… so i wasn’t really in the mood for anything … so i dont get to spend much time at the reception and we go off to applebees because i said i wanted to go to ruby Tuesday and he wanted a burger …
so we go and its okay but on the ride there i was told i was shitty and i was going to come home to go with my mom to get her neck cut open and have the cancer taken of but she told me not to come… thanks…
we get to to the restaraunt and we sit down and they ask me to pick where we sit… i pick it and he changes it because its not good enough for him so we move and go sit in the back where Davis and I usually sit when we’re there … i want nachos and no one else does but we get them and then they eat them all i got a lot too but its so annoying … i got a salad, she got a salad and my father ordered ribs but didnt know how they came… i wanted a rita… i got tea…
we ate, i was told i was anti social… they dropped me off at my car and went home and i went to my guy…
it was really sad because when i went to get my actual diploma no one i could hear was clapping, i know Davis was and i guess my parents were and some teachers but i heard someone go “oh shit they’re not clapping” …. that kinda broke my heart… i didnt want to go play after that…i just wanted to hide and i tried to hide … they found me
Davis and i emptied out my old room at the college and it was really sad because I’m bad with endings… spent alot of time there… and i was tired and cranky…
i wanted to go contra … i ended up getting a 3 hour nap and being less horriable to deal with
today was hard … i had to work 10-7 at wegmans and i really just wanted to be home today … it wasn’t a bad day it was just sooooo busy. did specs all day
russ did something sweet, he got all the mommys a purple carnation and gave it to everyone. i thought he was a real moron when i first met him but i think he has some redeeming qualities to him after all
Davis came to see me and got me a beautiful orchid… i hope i dont kill it
weggies made me a cookie too!! its a chocolate chip that was decorated to say how proud they are of me! i love it … i think it will be gone by tonight!