last week my mom told me she got a phone call that she needed to go get an ultrasound on her boobs they said the tissue looked so dense and strange…so my father wouldn’t go with her and i did instead… i mean, if they found something i wanted to be there even if she lost her mind temporarally. and it didn’t take too long the tech told her she didn’t see anything strange but they know she has some kind of polysystic breast disease. but nothing too much strange. now the radiologist has to look and we’ll know…
im glad shes okay… it was an okay morning…now back to fight with fedex even more about my computer and the wrong address… i do not live on Charr drive…. fucking idiots.
ow… i tried to eat this morning and my jaw was all painful and pressury… i went to the dentist friday and he said i was fine… well, the higentest did i never saw the dentit or got the rays…. we’ll see… but yeah… its okay when im not eating but my ears hurt too… i wanna go home
my old computer is hard to type on… but not hard to play maple on… thats wat im going to do…i have posting to do but its not going to get done on here with all the bad keys
yeah i know… what else is new when i get bored and have no computer of my own..i tried to use the other one last night but its just doesn’t work for me, I know when i get desprate i will but still… the first part of operation get my laptop fixxed will be here today… i checked the delevery and fedex said its in bethlehem.. well shit, you know! i’d have it already, maybe if it was there… but what do i know….
made a big mistake last night and asked Davis about the poetry, he said it wasn’t a mistake but its hard for him to read to me when things aren’t the way they should be. I forgot about the last time and it reminded me of when i asked me ex to do it and it just made me feel so so bad… He said he still will becausehe doesn’t want to deprive me… but now I really don’t want him to do that because i know its just… its not… no.
dentist in 45 minutes, i hope to be out by 10:15… gotta leave earlier though because i need to call service electric again so i can tell Davis when they’re comming to install the stuff for us…
gotta go… wish me luck this bottom wisdom tooth is still good! I’m too big of a coward to have to get it pulled!
got a book from the libray about hwo to build on SL … i know its not te same as someone teaching me but if hes going to i might as well … well… know something before I start… cant wait for the new computer to get here… the protection plan gets here tomorrow and then i’ll call the second i get it and send the damn computer back… i want my new one ASAP beforei go totally ballistic…
dentist tomorrow morning but its with Jan not Barb… as alawys i got the lecture about what to say and not say and then the apology that i don’t need to hear it… i should get Xrays but i don’t really want them, i mean… i need to know if the wisdome teeth are okay but at the same time i really don’t want to know, the top two are fine i cant see why the bottom won’t just rotate in, maybe when i have insurane again i’ll do it… i hope that will be soon and i don’t have a problem but my mouth is huge they should be fine… they’re already almsot totally in the top are in completely but the bottom two are freaks that are a bit off sided… whatever…i got a tooth filled last time and i try to remember to bruth twice a day i always get in once a day before bed time… he filled that last one and checked the others, i think they’ll all still be watches… we’ll see…enough novacane makes everything better…. except for all those god damn scars… lol
thats what ive been doing, chewing the inside of my mouth raw and its so annoying… its in that back left corner with the teeth, it happens sometimes…
neuro appoitnment is March 18… i was suppose to go this month but somehow i never was reminded by the paractice… they said they’d call when it was time for me to schedule… I hope Davis will be able to go with me, he does his best to come. we’ll keep track of the date. so much for my happy birthday, i just don’t want to be sent for tests… tired of all of that evern though its been a long time.
im starting to think of other elopement things for me and Davis again… guess its not really eloping if we had the ceremony already now is it? whatever!
off to do paperwork…
nothing like going to the dentist tomorrow, the DMV today, my inspection next week, the neuro the week after that and another doctor saturday…
NO MORE X-RAYS!!!!
…does anyone want to renew my userpics for me? Its okay if you don’t… I’ll get to it eventually, bui figured I’d ask
what a day… i got up this mornnig and found the screen on my brand new laptop broken so i spent my whole day trying to run awoaund finding i place that will fix and and no one will for under $500 so i was soooo upset for the whole day… and then i finally called HP and talked to think **thanks Davis and Anthony for getting me sane again* and signed up for the protection plan so once i get the stuff on that i can mail it in and get my computer fixed… it’s going to be free but i mean its still fixed… the whole screen isn’t shattered either, just the lower right corner.. bad enough so i have these lines and this death mark… if i can find a memory card for me digicam i can get a picture and Xpost it into here… my mom had an old meory card that she let me have, well she has some gigantic tihng for hers and she doesn’t need the 16 so she gave it to me…
but yeah… called HP and went all over town to look for a computer and there are none and it made me sad but in the end it all worked out because of te protection plan.
tried to fill out some paperwork today too… where do i file my taxes but it has to be in jersey and when the p.o.box came up my mother got all pissy in her voice over it… shut up already… how am i suppose to talk to either of you when you get like that.
and my necklas is still broken and i cant find it right now, kinda frustrating… i need to i feel so naked without it on… thats all for now really, i miss my davis ALOT and want to play maplestory really bad but i don’t know how im going to make it work on this computer, i have to remember how he got it to work… run as admin i think…
well, there are always puzzles….
played with the little girl all day, she was very cute and its too bad shes so sick… but she ran me raggad i wanted to go sit with the adults but it was fun playing iwth her. we did some sewing and a puzzle and watched High School musical twice… i think i hate that more now than i everdid before but she liked it … the themse in the movie bothered me because it ests unrealistic expectations of love nad thigns into this little girls head… she liked the music. Okay with me…
im talking to my love now… i worry about him so much because he gets so sick from the stress and hes right about me trying and not trying and how all i know is failure because all good things get taken way. i need to admit things i cant do and can do… i need to be able to say that i cant come and not be afrrade and give false hope thats going to hurt him even more. the truth eventhough it hurts is the best thing to do …
no more christmases like this ever again
Laptop tilting desk
dark brown cloak for ritual and warmthness
silly callendar from bobo kitchen
Shoefly pie mix
bath and body works gift set
knock off coach purse
…but all i want for christmas is you …. i have a lot more to post tonight and whatever but i don’t really wanna type anymore i just wanna get back onto maple and play with my guy
cold, tired and feel crappy… i miss my Davis and i want to post but im tired… i’ll do it tomorrow