I miss my Vicito… I want to hear his Voice and fall asleep with sweet dreams in my head! I miss him. I miss him.. I miss him! I know it’s only been 1 day and all that rot but still. I’m spoiled! **sighs**

I know a scatterbrain!

‘Tis been a looooong morning. But I went to Symphony camp today… it was… Interesting. I’m playing Oboe in it. They were desperate. what can I say, but I’m eager to play for them! It’s fun we’re playing semi hard stuff and I’m enjoying it! 9-12 in the morning! I thought summer Vacation was for GETTING SLEEP!!!!!! Jesus! well. Mi Vicito finally posted in his Live journal! He’s not just A SCATTERBRAIN he’s MY SCATTERBRAIN! and that makes it all good!

Well, Yesterday re-cap.
1) I went to the mall and blew over 40 dollars on TOTAL CRAP!!
2) got a cool cape that makes me look even more like the temptress then before. And it’s black and ties in front… sad thing. It’s see through too.. so I have to behave. I think I quote someone when I say Sore wa himitsu da.

Hey, Vicito. I know you’re going to read this. But listen… you promised to link me to your site and you never did. You promised to put some of my fic’s on you site and you never did…. and you never told me you changed servers! What the Hell!?.. and you’re site won my award once… I guess none of my stuff matters now does it… but you kept promising me and nothing happened… What gives?

I’m sorry

Listen, Akira… Jahn… I know I was a bitch and I know what I said was wrong. But listen, I was upset. an I didn’t sick Vic onto you. He did that himself. He asked. I know, I make mistakes too when I get pissed I get pissed! and this is a public Apologie! I’m sorry. I was just really REALLY upset. not just at you but at a lot of things that happened to me. and you got the brunt of it. I’m sorry

” hello,
Allow me to
introduce myself. I am smitten.
And you couldn’t care less”
~~ Rod Stewart~~

Okay! I see the convo between Vicito and Jahn. This is total Garbage! Jahn is a bad liar! and I know I put an apoligie but I mean this is a journal and I can put what I want in here! I know that I’m not the easiest person to deal with! I’ll admit it! but it’s like sometimes but lisen to me when I say UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMETHING FOR SURE KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!! We almost split because
a) I lost my temper
b) we were told something wasn’t true!

I’m personally ready to scream! I want to hit something.

I hate my family!

I hate them! I don’t get it! Today was nice until they started bitching at me! I had to deal with my grandfather all day! Be on good behavior and all that shit and now I get bitched at for it! I was on the phone with Vicito and Ricky! I needed some down time! Is that such a bad thing? I just wanted to talk to my friends! He’s been in a bad mood since we got home! Excuse me! He never lets me do anything! I feel like a porcelain doll. I’m not! I’m 16! I have a life, A boyfriend who loves me, and friends! but I don’t need some foster father trying to kill me because I was on 3 way calling! I pay for it!!!!!

Hey hey!
OH! Last night was great! I went to the school graduation! It was so sad but so fun to watch all my friends Graduating and going off to other places in the world! I was playing in Concert band too. That was great! I’m the band Librarian #1, my friend Katharine-Su is Librarian #2! It was just great to do, But the end of the night was the sad part. As Kath and I were leaving we Saw Matt. He was last years Drum Major. It’s so sad seeing him leaving. I loved him, he was the sweetest thing ever! He’s going to Penn State. He wants to be a weather man! And that’s cool, I just wish He was still staying here. But we hugged and Said our farewells. ((and cried a little)) I’m gonna miss all the seniors. Those were some of my best High School friends.

Okay! I found out what’s BLUE, SHINEY, SOFT, & FUZZY!

A TEDDY BEAR!! Vicito gave me a hint! Ursa! I speak latin! and for all you that dont know Ursa means bear. like the constilations! I’m so excited! and he’s sending me piccies too! ^^. I’m so excited now! It’s a metallic blue teddy bear! Isn’t he such a sweety to me? I called him lastnight when I got home and left a message on his mashine and when he called me back it was just so much fun to talk to him!

I think he’s my soul mate

I hope he is. We both love each other a lot, have sooo mcuh in common, Have lasted over a yeah and a half and we’ve made it through a lot of fights! But lastnight made it all so cute! And he apoligised for not calling me and it was so presious! I loooooove him! We were talking about our accents lastnight too! I think, and so does Jessi, that has a verri cute voice. Vicito has that touch of southern, it makes him sound… innosent… almost. He says I sound like a high strung midwestener! but I AM! so there’s the cool part! I’m from chicago! So there’s a big compliment there! I’m having fun with this Journal thing! I’ve tried outher books but I hate hand writing! I’m a better typist! well, Thats all for now!
~~Bai bai~~

This day is going from bad to worse!
I almost lost my Vicito over some thing I got from someone else! This is Disgusting! Here’s the story. I heard from someone on my friends list that my Vicito was cheating on me and flirting with all the other girls he knows. I’m happy he flirts, but he said it was hitting and all the girls said he was too. I got all mad at Vicito and Yelled at him over it only to find out that Jessie is just one of his good girlfriends. And that’s great with me. It’s just how Akira Okami put it that really upset me! He almost ruined me and Vicito! ((Hyogitsune))
Off that subject. I HAVE GOOD NEWS!
Vicito is going to send me something and piccies! I’m sooo happy! I love him so much and all that rot! I sent him an orange teddy bear a few weeks ago and it was the softest and cutest thing! and he loved it! I’m getting him some cute stuff for his B-day in August! Well, gotta go get dressed for the graduation!


I don’t know where this summer will go!!


Why do I even bother asking him to call me! I don’t understand it! Why is it that when he asks me to call him I do it even if it’s not the most convenient thing in the world! But I can’t keep this up or my father will kill me! The bill will be outrageous! I have a job, yes! But it’s not the best pay in the world! barely minimum wage! Definitely not enough to pay for my Cell bill and my internet and everything else I have to pay for! I love my guy and I know he has this almost drafted delivery service that he does because of the scooter and I know he has a lot of stuff to do and is busy to it would just be nice if he would take a second to say hi. I know it sounds very selfish of me and I’m not trying to sound that way really! I know he just got a job and I know he just moved rooms and has a lot to do! I can accept that but when I ask him and he promised to call me and I asked him twice to promise and he did then I wait until almost midnight and just give up on him thats when I get just damned mad over it…I know he can’t help it… but damn it… sometimes I would just like to know what he’s thinking about when we talk… or how he really feels… He has a journal here too…but he never really uses it because he doesn’t have time to… I just hope he’ll still have time for me this summer…

Our schedules are so conflicting! I have first week of Symphony, a trip back home to Chicago then Fencing Camp 3 weeks in a row! He’s home when I’m at Symphony then while I’m in chicago he’s home but leaving for the shore after that. and for fencing I have that all day so there’s another week down the toliate… and I know I’m bitching but I need to get this out somewhere! But it’s more then that! it’s the fact that I work all weekend from 6am-4:30pm at the bagel Co and he works weekdays 5-9 at K-mart. so when I get home from my camps he’ll be at work! I’ll never get to see him. That’s hard. I love him so much that it hurts but I can’t just keep saying it because it’ll just get him annoyed!

Another thing, Sometimes he’s told me that I can’t fight my own battles. Or I depend on him too much and all that rot! I can’t help some of it and part of the time it’s because I’m tired of being a total defender all the time! I’ve stood on my own for 15 years now and It’s kinda nice to have someone help me! And with Josh, ((The 13 year old that was hitting on me)) He was the one that wanted to meet Vic I wasn’t about to introduce them on my own! I knew it was suicide! but they both got all mad! Especially Vic for thinking I was dragging him in to something that I couldn’t handle! he stopped. I asked him to and he did. It was that easy.

I don’t know. I’ll have a better post tomorrow or later. We’ll see then


If you read this —
When you read this —
—You will Judge

And if you Judge–
—You can’t learn

Be open —
—And you may

— Understand