Had to go back to the dentist today… last week my jaw popping, teeth grinding, jaw chomping, licking and tongue tics got to the point where I was in such pain all I could do is curl up in a ball and cry. I was beyond miserable. So I called and they brought me in right away and did trigger point shots in my gums and mouth… ok, that started to help… I went back 2 more times…and I guess I should say that this isn't the guy that I love (Dr.T) this is someone else from the old practice I went to in town… The person I see now works an hour away and he ONLY works on special needs patients… but i'm suffering…
So I get there and they put me in the chair and my tics and my dysto were terrible, I STUPIDLY decided to leave my wheelchair in the car because I knew I'd be sitting… but I left it… and things got really weird….first, I only had some hygienist I've never seen before and she would ask me questions but then go tell the dentist what I said… but the dentist wouldn't even come into the room… so, then come back, and tell me what he said and kept repeating it. The man wouldn't even come look at me. It was like he was scared of me …I couldn't stop my drunken bird jerking forward learching thing…
the hygienist was really mean too and I kept telling her that I'm here because I needed one last follow up to make sure I'm ok… …she kept telling me that my problem is VERY SIMPLE to solve if I would just stop doing that with my teeth. When I feel it starting just don't do it … CHILDREN can manage to do that… CHILDREN have this problem and as soon as you know what the sensation is … just stop doing it and get mouth guards… I had my screeching and chirping tics too … and my chattering, chomping, and jaw popping … the dentist was in another room the whole time and told me there was nothing he could do for someone like me … and to go back up to Stroudsburg to see my normal dentist … and can't I get my mother to take me, my husband is home sick … and that I need to stop making those noises too … I need to stop doing that … it doesn't make me easy to talk to…I was a part of this practice since 09 too… and these two people I've not seen before treated me like I was some kind of subhuman… and they said unless I was willing to let them take out my wisdom teeth and do full panoramic Xrays… there was nothing they can do for me. But I just had Xrays back in May too… but they didn't think I'd be able to hold still …they're not useto someone like me… I need to get myself under control…
I left in hysterics with the girls from the desk chasing me outside to give me 2 prescriptions from another dentist (who also didn't see me but took pity on me) and said to go see someone else the next town over… they kept telling me to wait… and then they brought out an antibiotic scrip that IM ALLERGIC TO… and then another one i'm allergic to … ti took 3 tries… like no one looked at my chart… and im just too hard… but the office manager kept apologizing to me … and then telling me that the REAL reason the doctor didn't want to see me was because he'd use my consultation fee and I need to go to a GUM SPECIALIST because i'm too much work for him there…
I feel so bad… and so low right now… and like my TS just makes me stupid… the hygienist was so mean to me about my tics and I was shaking so violently and my jerks were bad too … This is miserable… and a very sad life sometimes… I wish I could be better….I'm so tired of being broken … I'm so tired of all of this … I want to be …not such a worthless freak…
Confessions of a Girl 