A very interesting day…


Yeah, I REALLY need to post more often. What else is new… but I just can’t believe it… I have a friend… no wait… let me start from the beginning! My RP character Queen Guardian Julaya Na had her heart ripped out. (( no, not literally)). The Fox that she loved had a wife. and she knew it. but Zorro had amnesia… so he and Julaya got married. But things happened and Zorro went back to his Wife Mimi and got his memory back. Julaya had to watch as they kissed and she had to tell Zorro about what happened. Her heart broke… There also was a battle beforehand with the freak that made Zor loose his memory… And Julaya was still weak from that… but… she didn’t feel loved. The rest of the guardians took her to the castle and she was there on life support… here’s where this all went to hell… I found out a friend of mine said she stole Julaya from the hospital and they had a clone because she was in love with her… Then she RPed with her! Vic told me on the phone… I was ready to scream… I did, She drew pictures as well… One of a naked Julaya in a status tube with the other girl taking stats (( This is JUST as bad as the time Ricky gave Alieah permission to draw hentai with Julaya and almost gave the pictures to someone else! A girl whose name was JULIET)) and one of The Girl holding Julaya like Jesus was being held in a famous painting. I was disgusted by the first one. It was more Horror. I just couldn’t believe it! I didn’t care that The other girl was in love with Julaya… it was the principal that She stole Julaya! And it’s NOT just another Roll play to me! Julaya is my character and I was mad because I didn’t know UNTIL LAST NIGHT!! This other thing happened over 2 WEEKS AGO!!! That was what burns me so! I just cant believe it. So I had a talk with her… okay… I didn’t… Vic did on my SN and I told him what to say while I was on a different one doing what I do best…NOTHING. But things are cleared up I think… anyway… I’m tired of this topic…

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

Vic’s pissing me off again… It’s that stupid scooter… I read his latest entry and it’s like… He’s obsessed with it! I would have loved to say to him.
” Here. Pick something. My love or that damned piece of scrap metal!”
but I didn’t. That’s just mean and rude…But still! He’s driving me nuts! I was so pissed off at him last night! He’s so annoying over it! I hate it! I was ready to just tell him to be that way and hang up!! I just don’t like it! I’m afraid he’s GOING TO GET KILLED! It’s like a motorcycle! and I don’t care how much experience he can get on it… what I feel about him on that thing… it’s just… oh lord… I mean… if it was anyone else… I wouldn’t be this concerned… and it’s not that I don’t trust his capabilities on it… or anything else… it’s just… Where’s Jesse when I need her?! She would understand what I mean! And I think when Vic reads this… he’ll understand where I’m really going… It’s not that… really.. I trust him on it… just… **frustrated sigh** I don’t think he got what I was saying last night… It’s not the scooter… it never was… I don’t care about how safe it is… and I know I’m being repetave… him on that thing scares me… Where is Jesse!? ** sighs**

((slowly)) Moving right along.

Well, I got fiddler crabs yesterday… 2 of them. male and female. So, now It’s going to be a remembrance of the mutant guppies experiment again… When I was little I had a BIG tank of Guppies and they started inbreeding… it was SO GROSE!!!! LMFAO. those were the sickest looking things eva!

well, That’s about it… I don’t know anymore… About Vic and the scooter I mean… The thing is wrong…and Vic I hope you’ve read this… because I don’t think I could explain it again…

“More then words”


I think I’m addicted to music… I don’t really know how or why. But I think I am and there’s no one out there to stop me! Hell, It’s better then drugs by a mile! I don’t really know, I feel really good. It’s the first time in a while… Maybe it has to do with my listening to a song I love. I don’t know… Knowing my luck Vic is probably going to read this… But… I do love him so much. and I like it that everyone needs time off… but sometimes I feel like I’m not holding up my end of the relationship. And I didn’t want to tell him about my GS SN… and I’m not saying it out loud because other people might feel the need to pester me! anyway. Back to what I was saying… For once… I feel good to be away from him. After last night… it made me think about how much I’d like to be single again… nothing against him!! Not in the least. God damn I love him. But I just wish… sometimes… I could feel him holding me. But really, I’d hate it if I lost him. He means So very much to me! This song makes me think of him… I wonder if he knows how to dance? I’d love to dance with him to this song. I mean, who doesn’t know this song!

More then Words
Extreem

Saying I love you
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say,
but if you only knew
How easy it would be
to show me how you feel
More than words
is all you have to do
to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say
that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do
if my heart was torn in two
More than words
to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say
if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I’ve tried to
talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do
is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands
and touch me
Hold me close
don’t ever let me go
More than words
is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say
that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do
if my heart was torn in two
More than words
to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say
if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words
More than words
More than words
More than words

More than words

“How easy it would be
to show me how you feel
More than words
is all you have to do
to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say
that you love me
Cos I’d already know”

I love this song… I know I say that a lot don’t I! But, The melody is just so pretty. and the words… because that is how I feel. Well, I guess I’m coming back to my senses.

My knee is doing a lot better, But I have a checkup… so It’s going to get looked at anyway! EWWWWWW! I need to have them draw blood and I’m such a flake! I’m terrified of the needles! I almost died last time they tried to take blood from me! I screamed!! and passed out… and made a scene… I hate that… and yes… Blood only freeks me out when it’s in a tube coming out of me! **shivers** well, that’s about everything

** adose and aloha!**
~~Juliet~~

AHHHHH!!! MY KNEE HURTS!!


ooh! Why can’t this pain stop?! It hurts so badly and it’s not stopping… They say I need surgery to fix it… and I’m scared… I know you can’t die from knee surgery… but still, it’s not exactly how I want to spend the rest of my year… not like the pain is much better! I REALLY want this to stop it hurts so badly ** is crying** I Hate it! Why did I have to F/*/*/K up my knee? It’s a real pain!!

It’s a loosing battle with my body


I just feel like I’m loosing a battle with my body I don’t know what’s wrong with me I should be happy. My troubles should be over now that I don’t have this weight holding me, tying me down But if that’s true why am I so much more depressed now then I’ve ever been?

I guess it’s because 5 of the 6 people I trusted have all betrayed me at least once. Megan, Katy, Jen, Ashley, Garrett. I really can’t go into it all now Maybe this is a way telling me that I still have to face this pain even though I thought it was over? I just think that my body is dying from it All the pain, all the stress everything is just taking such a toll on me that I can’t physically stand any longer. I’ve given up praying what good has god ever served me I don’t know Maybe this is why I decided to be Atheist. Because I don’t care or believe in anything! It’s just the pain from it all! I’m so afraid!

There’s been one positive to this day I found out who my true friends are. Joey and Nixxy. They both really care about me. I feel the same for them. I’d do anything for them; they’re both so nice to me! But it makes me feel worse knowing I’m letting my problems off onto them. They have there own lives and things! Why do they need to take on mine? It’s truly ironic I help others solve their problems but I can’t seem to help solve my own. I love them both, they mean so much to me now. More then before!

I just wish that I was stronger, so I could block out all this pain my biggest problem is that I just feel everything. I was told that I’m mature then other 16-year-olds and that those 14-15 year olds I hang out with can’t understand so they feel they must hurt me and get through the shell and try to break me and see what I’m made of. But they strip away at me… and the pain gets greater and greater!

Today I lost someone I considered one of my best friends because I had no choice in the matter. Sarenity-Na had tried to destroy my relationships and me. It was insane and she would keep apologizing and I would take her back and things would be go and she would keep doing and doing it again. And finally she did things that were so painful I went to her family and she was brought to her knees. Destroying the last friendship that I had and sending me back into depression.

I want a friend that lives near me I’ve never had that I’ve lived in so many places but never had anyone my age near me and I never had anyone to play with. So I became the loner I am not I’m to afraid to try and make more friends… They could betray me again But I have Victor and he makes me feel better but I long to have him in my arms. I miss him to death but some day That’s my wish. For one day not even one day, to have my Victor in my arms and feel him holding me… for the love and protection!

I may have won the battles… but I really lost the war…


I feel like shit.. I don’t know.. I didn’t want to get her into so much trouble but it was enviable… She made her bed and now she had to lie in it… I’ve never felt so alone in my life… And it’s all because she was lying… I just… I just…

GOD DAMN IT ALL INTO THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!

**sighs** I lost all of my friends in this god damned state… and I just feel so alone… I went into town… And there were all of these people…with there friends…and I was with my father… I just feel so alone… someone make it go away…

I thought things were heading for the better… Why was I so wrong?


I know I haven’t posted here in such a long time. but it was because I had camps and A big Chicago trip coming up. And I left Wednesday night for Chicago and it was great. The hotel sucked. It was small and there was one big bed, a couch and a TV… Not like I was in there much. but 2 people… 1 bed!!! 2 women and 1 bed… But I sucked it up and went along with it. So I baught stuff at the Sanrio store and Niketown and all those cool places.. I went to visit muh “Aunt” Maria. We’re not really related but our families are so close we call each other that. But we saw then for 2 of the 4 days. but on the plane ride home this Jumbo that was close Floured the engine and we went down in a spiral. But the pilate pulled us out! It was SOOOOOOO scary! I thought I was going to die. but I didn’t! I’m here! ^^. someone up there must have liked me! But… that was the good part…

on to the bad… I got an E-mail from Vic… Things seem to be going to hell… I’m so afraid I’m going to loose him… not to someone else… but because we won’t talk as much and the distance will become too much… I love him so much, when I don’t get to talk to him it hurts… He’s Mi Vido… My dear and my life. I don’t know how to put it into words. But he sent me an E-mail that scared me… the Chips hit the fan… and now life sucks… but everything will be okay again someday! I hope… But until then I just have to hope… I’d give up my existence to see him happy…
**crying** life’s a bitch


well hello there old friend! God! It’s been a long couple of days! I hate working! It’s such a bitch! Anyway! In just a few short days I’ll be off to Chicago and I’ll be freed… NOT!!! I have to deal with my bitchy Ex-boyfriend! but that’s okay! I WILL SURVIVE!!
post more later
~~Chantel~~