nightmares …. again


Last night I had some awesome scifi dream … but ir was bookended by nightmares … so I took a nap and then had more nightmares… and they're about my landlord ….so I told Davis and he was like "Well, if he does evict us we'll just get a storage room and move back into the hotel… and just have to use the camping stove for a while again… but we've had worse things happen..See nothing to worry about"

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$57 at the laundromat… major dystonic attack… voices in my head are going nuts … and all I want is a few minutes neurotypical … if I go to bed tonight it will be shocking… but yeah… spent a few hours today not able to make my face go back to normal or have my hands work the way they should… oh, and choking … i have the choking tic …now I need to get back to sculpting, baking, cleaning, folding and cooking … and trying to not think about how broken I am

Maybe…. maybe


My period is late… this is really exciting because we've been trying for a baby for so long … this might be it!!!! Finally!!!! My mom keeps telling me this would be the worst time for us to have a kid because of how things are going right now and because of my health … but God, I want this so bad… so does Davis … I hope to god this is it… we've lost so many…