…what the hell, i mean… really?!


Okay, once again i’m stuck calling bull shipped on something. Today has been… One of the most obnoxious days I have had in a long time. The day started with my EpiPen being told it would cost over $200 and fighting with three pharmacies, one insurance company, my store, the neurologists office… All for nothing.

It just seemed like because the pharmacy, no wait not the pharmacy, my prescription plan is just do. And for some reason they set all my stuff had to go to a specialized pharmacy it’s a EpiPen! It’s not like, it’s something special everybody might need them it’s an allergy drug and are telling me that I have to drive four hours yes you heard me right over like four hours to go get this drug because the closest bucking pharmacy is up near Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. Yeah, Scranton like an hour away but that’s not the point they were giving me …all these places are just getting farther and farther out to the point where it was 4 Hours Way. It didn’t make sense. Any it turns out that I could just go to any of my stocking stores with a pharmacy in it to get it for like $50 as opposed to paying 200. Weidenfeld and somebody told me that the first place?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? why this stuff have to be so bloody difficult?!?!?!?! Jesus mighty!!!!!

But, Davis is fabulous and he’s always good to me and is so patient so kind and so calm and I just don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes. he puts up with me, and it’s not even like he acts like he puts up with me. He’s just always my love . so grateful for how great he is. we went out and got BLTs or lunch before I went you’ll fight with pharmacy and all this other nonsense and I like getting to have the picnics in the car with my bunny because they’re just nice and wonderful and make me remember that he loves me a lot even when I’m out of my mind. I finally understand now what he’s been putting up with with me for all these years though. I follow I was on the anxiety the drugs that I wanted to go back to normal because it felt so different and it turns out that all I really wanted … *sigh* it is that I didn’t understand. a you know what normal was like!!! I didn’t know how it felt to have my brain under control. now that it’s back out-of-control I would do anything to have it better.

So I’m really excited that they’re going  to fix me before July. I hope…. That stupid physician’s assistant called me at work and I really want to talk to my doctor and she just gave me new drugs. didn’t even like really pay attention to what I had to say , just prescribed new stuff.

I called and left message because I want to talk to Dr. Clauser I don’t want to talk to her ever again. I’m hoping that you take care that, but we got the pharmacy stuff fixed and I can get my EpiPen and my other stuff in my Requip so much cheaper now it’s just amazing makes me happy.

but The other just absolutely talking retarded thingwas that they hired at work this new cake decorator. and all she did is piss and moan that she doesn’t want to decorate cakes all day. that it’s boring, that it hurts,  blah blah blah … all  this drama!!!

ANDI got crap for it. Because I’m the one making her do all the cake orders. well fuck  me. if you  don’t want the job. I’m sure someone would want it.

. . I just think that’s really all the for somebody wh. just Jarted this job a week ago. to be Taking demands that because she was a bakery manager and she can do everything that she should be able to do whatever she wants instead of doing take orders. . I’m the one going into management training, I’m the one who needs to work with the manager. And we need a cake decorator she so I practiced the need so much help. Just do your job. I was mad about that all day they accuse me of not having stuff and when it was there they get upset that I said something to wow the deli overheard me and reported to Nancy and all his stuff all you hired a cake decorator… Decorate cakes..

okay that’s enough bitching for me I need to go to bed and I haven’t had supper, and am back in tomorrow morning. They sucked up the schedule again in my face is covering a me and I just need to go bad because today has just been crap.

. . what ever…

….ARG


Okay, once again i'm stuck calling bull shipped on something. Today has been… One of the most obnoxious days I have had in a long time. The day started with my EpiPen being told it would cost over $200 and fighting with three pharmacies, one insurance company, my store, the neurologists office… All for nothing.

It just seemed like because the pharmacy, no wait not the pharmacy, my prescription plan is just do. And for some reason they set all my stuff had to go to a specialized pharmacy it's a EpiPen! It's not like, it's something special everybody might need them it's an allergy drug and are telling me that I have to drive four hours yes you heard me right over like four hours to go get this drug because the closest bucking pharmacy is up near Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. Yeah, Scranton like an hour away but that's not the point they were giving me …all these places are just getting farther and farther out to the point where it was 4 Hours Way. It didn't make sense. Any it turns out that I could just go to any of my stocking stores with a pharmacy in it to get it for like $50 as opposed to paying 200. why didnt somebody tell me that the first place?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? why this stuff have to be so bloody difficult?!?!?!?! Jesus mighty!!!!!

But,  is fabulous and he's always good to me and is so patient so kind and so calm and I just don't know what I'd do without him sometimes. he puts up with me, and it's not even like he acts like he puts up with me. He's just always my love . so grateful for how great he is. we went out and got BLTs or lunch before I went you'll fight with pharmacy and all this other nonsense and I like getting to have the picnics in the car with my bunny because they're just nice and wonderful and make me remember that he loves me a lot even when I'm out of my mind. I finally understand now what he's been putting up with with me for all these years though. I follow I was on the anxiety the drugs that I wanted to go back to normal because it felt so different and it turns out that all I really wanted … *sigh* it is that I didn't understand. a you know what normal was like!!! I didn't know how it felt to have my brain under control. now that it's back out-of-control I would do anything to have it better.

So I'm really excited that they're going to fix me before July. I hope…. That stupid physician's assistant called me at work and I really want to talk to my doctor and she just gave me new drugs. didn't even like really pay attention to what I had to say , just prescribed new stuff.

I called and left message because I want to talk to Dr. Clauser I don't want to talk to her ever again. I'm hoping that you take care that, but we got the pharmacy stuff fixed and I can get my EpiPen and my other stuff in my Requip so much cheaper now it's just amazing makes me happy… and it might work too… like raelly work not fake work and make me worse in 2 weeks

but The other just absolutely talking retarded thingwas that they hired at work this new cake decorator. and all she did is piss and moan that she doesn't want to decorate cakes all day. that it's boring, that it hurts, blah blah blah … all this drama!!!

ANDI got crap for it. Because I'm the one making her do all the cake orders. well fuck me. if you don't want the job. I'm sure someone would want it.

. . I just think that's really all the for somebody who. just sarted this job a week ago. to be Taking demands that because she was a bakery manager and she can do everything that she should be able to do whatever she wants instead of doing take orders. . I'm the one going into management training, I'm the one who needs to work with the manager. And we need a cake decorator she so I practiced the need so much help. Just do your job. I was mad about that all day they accuse me of not having stuff and when it was there they get upset that I said something to wow the deli overheard me and reported to Nancy and all his stuff all you hired a cake decorator… Decorate cakes..

okay that's enough bitching for me I need to go to bed and I haven't had supper, and am back in tomorrow morning. They sucked up the schedule again in my face is covering a me and I just need to go bad because today has just been crap.

. . what ever…

is this thing on?


Okay, is this thing going to start recording or is it just going to be annyoing….? Oh wait, there it goes. Haha.

So, I think I like this whole talking thing. One of the problems I’ve always have my journals is that… I have so much I want to say, but the whole typing thing kind of wrecks it. Not like anybody’s reading this anyway, um…

Yesterday was crap… I mean total crap like bullshit. I’m tired I’m tired of being sick, I’m tired of having this disorder, I’m tired of every fucking thing that has… Just been in my way forever.

So I have Tourette’s really bad everybody knows that, and it’s usually controlled with medication but after the explosion with the last drug I’m completely unmedicated until further notice. That wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t like… Hate myself without the drugs. I’m just tired or shaken all the time.

I made the mistake of trying to post in this talking support group that I had a ticstorm at work, nobody really understands what that is a lot like a cross between a grand mal seizure and being possessed by demons. So I get home and I post in the Tourette’s Facebook group that… About what happened so there’s this girl and I guess in a twisted way were friends but were not really, she has a really bad tarot and I’m I don’t know I just… I guess I found the right doctors, or the right treatment plan. Maybe I’m just a lot smarter? But there’s a whole lot of things that it could be that that’s not the point I just felt like when I was talking to her that all she did was diminish my problem in favor of her own. And I thought that support groups are supposed to be things that made us all feel better and instead all this does is make me feel worse. Crazy right? Sometimes I wonder if maybe the biggest mistake I ever made was trying to join that stupid thing is I was just fine without us a poor group and that I wanted to be a part of something. Just feels like a lost cause. His mine weren’t like hers and he just was this whole feeling of well euros aren’t like mine but minor bad and look at my you tube video and look at this and look at that and why isn’t that like this, like that. And all it did was make me feel like I don’t matter because it took my problems and I guess she was trying to find a kindred spirit. But the whole group is taken over with her drama all it. And I am so tired of deleting all of my stuff feeling a drama queen when she’s doing that!!

ugh, whatever.

is this thing on? (Dragon speaking post… #1st attempt)


Okay, is this thing going to start recording or is it just going to be annyoing….? Oh wait, there it goes. Haha.

So, I think I like this whole talking thing. One of the problems I’ve always have my journals is that… I have so much I want to say, but the whole typing thing kind of wrecks it. Not like anybody’s reading this anyway, um…

Yesterday was crap… I mean total crap like bullshit. I’m tired I’m tired of being sick, I’m tired of having this disorder, I’m tired of every fucking thing that has… Just been in my way forever.

So I have Tourette’s and Dystonia really bad everybody knows that, and it’s usually controlled (sorta) with medication but after the explosion with the last drug I’m completely unmedicated until further notice. That wouldn’t be too bad if I didn’t like… Hate myself without the drugs. I’m just tired or shaken all the time. but I ended up flat on the floor shaking, hissing, squealing and contorting myself into shapes that shouldn't even be found in nature… it hurts so bad and its so embarassing…

I made the mistake of trying to post in this talking support group that I had a ticstorm at work, nobody really understands what that is a lot like a cross between a grand mal seizure and being possessed by demons. So I get home and I post in the Tourette’s Facebook group that… About what happened so there’s this girl and I guess in a twisted way were friends but were not really, she has a really bad time too and I’m I don’t know I just… I guess I found the right doctors, or the right treatment plan.

Maybe I’m just a lot smarter?

But there’s a whole lot of things that it could be that that’s not the point I just felt like when I was talking to her that all she did was diminish my problem in favor of her own. And I thought that support groups are supposed to be things that made us all feel better and instead all this does is make me feel worse. Crazy right? Sometimes I wonder if maybe the biggest mistake I ever made was trying to join that stupid thing is I was just fine without us a poor group and that I wanted to be a part of something. Just feels like a lost cause.  mine weren’t like hers and he just was this whole feeling of well euros aren’t like mine but minor bad and look at my you tube video and look at this and look at that and why isn’t that like this, like that. And all it did was make me feel like I don’t matter because it took my problems and I guess she was trying to find a kindred spirit. But the whole group is taken over with her drama all it. And I am so tired of deleting all of my stuff feeling a drama queen when she’s doing that!!

ugh, whatever.