cry


me and another girl were crossing the street with the hazard lights and some maniac came down the road going at least 60… we had the lights on and had to dive out of the way and i got hitt in the butt… it wasn’t too massiavly hard but at the same time… my poor little butt…

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cranky bitch


well… I think thats what I am this morning … I left my ID at home so when i went go get something for breakfast I couldn’t and had to put it all back… ketchup exploded in my purse yesterday so some of my stuff is ruined… like my Vera purse that I cant wash… I’m hungry… its not even that i’m hungry I just WANT to eat something and this is always the time I don’t have any money or my ID… I forgot to cash my check so I have nothing anyway … and i need to put gas in my car…

I want to call my bunbun but hes sleeping and its his day off… I love him… and he said to me he never gets a day off because of me… I know he was joking but that hurt me since he’s “always trying to take care of his girl” it just makes me feel like a whiny needy bitch who cant just suffer through it on her own. So I’m just going to be hungry, its not the first time… I’d love to go home to get it but thats out of the question too because i’ll loose my parking space or i wont have enough time to walk home and walk back… I don’t want to wake him up… I just really feel like sometimes all I do is make him miserable…. hes going to read this and have his feelings hurt by it too I just wish I wasn’t such a worthless idiot and could let stuff go… but i just feel stupid…

I guess its better this way… I went to work late Thursday last week because i ate something and it made me sick … so its better if I don’t… Its not even like I’m hungry so i don’t know why i feel like i want something….

I guess im just a cranky bitch this morning, I thought i woke up okay, I think… but I’m no judge of myself… I don’t know whats wrong with me… I’ll get something when i get home tonight

sorry about all the whining… but i didn’t want to call and wake my guy up…

Les Sigh … i need to learn to organize


this has been a long day…I didn’t mind waiting to go to see him for 2 hours at his store today i just got frustrated because i didn’t have anything i could do to keep me out of trouble… les sigh…. I was happy to see him but my body hurts so bad today… i need to get on a routine for my pills but i don’t know how… what a stupid excuse that is… I need to take them and my vitimens but i just… i dont know… i just dont… and its why i feel like im insane.. .why cant I just be leveled and grounded like he is? Em said its because part of me is still a kid… I know shes right… and my mother is stressing me too… but thats normal at this point…

my father is going to the accountant tomorrow to do the taxes… I get to do my own next year… taxes stress me… everything stresses me but he said it last night so i have to get my stuff to him because they have all my other crap… its a pain in the ass to get it to me when i only have one thing to get for them…

no voice lesson today because I didn’t want to and just let my tourette’s do the work for me…

I want my guy to know I love him… i know i’m not doing what he wants me to do… he said he knows i love him and he doesn’t doubt that… I just want to do nice things for him… like he does for me… but i just feel like a pest…

I’m glad hes resting… I just wish I could be too… tried to watch Transformers last night but he was sad about a lot of things and I wanted to make it better but he thought i wasn’t enjoying it… tried to do stuff like that again… this time it was better and hes resting… i dont like when hes so stressed… 

i cant believe some people


brian and i were closing tonight and this nasty guy came over right after i got out of lunch with my bunbun and he wants to know why all the cakes are so expensive…he comes over with this “Better than me” attitude and says hes not trying to make trouble or be an ass but this is how it is … so i get defensive with the guy and answer him and then he gets even more nasty with me telling me that he would take my job if he could and he works in a similiar profession and that if anyone talked like I did they would have their job taken… i was on the phone calling jerry when the guy came back to say those things to me… i just said its the amount of time the ucc takes for us to do and the effort and other things… i was so upset and it was only an hour before i was going to go home … brian heard it too. the store manager said to me that i can cal lhim anyime something like that happens .. i never want it to again… i hate mean people and i want to be a manager someday…. les sigh

and its started snowing! maybe no school tomorrow!!!

the eclipse


it was amazing… and the fact that i got out of that rotten class early because of it just made it all that much better… i am so happy i got to see the best part of it with my guy… i feel like im so needy… anyway…. i should get back to the studying… or something… the last eclipse was only half as great as this one… but it was really damn cool in its own right