I did my own interview in my head today in the car me getting interviewed by some girl magizine and I was the cover and the main story… it was so cool… I loved it…

but I was listened to Courtney Love read Kurts suicide note too… and I began to think, well… what would I write if I was in that posision… And I just thought about how I always said suicide was selfish, And I’m going against everything I ever said… but I wouldn’t have done it because I hated myself… I’d have done it because I hated the world…. that the world is a terriable place and people suck.. and they drove me to this point

I’ll finish this later… my dad is comming


Title- I love you
Artist- Barenaked ladies
Album- George

Chorus
I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let’s make a family tree.

I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let’s make a family tree.

I like soup, and I like ice cream sandwiches too.
I like fish sticks, but I love you.
You don’t believe me,
You say all I think about’s myself.
Let me explain, don’t walk away.

I love me
You love you
I love me
So what are we to do?

How would you know, that I love you so?
I don’t say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I’m in town?
I guess life was fine till I came ’round.

You’ve given me a start, I ain’t no
doctor but just take a look at the
chart for my heart like a dart from the
start I’m coming down with something good.
It ain’t no fever or flu, doctor says it
had to be someone
with brown hair and blue eyes, I’m
lovesick for you I realize.


I’s loves you

And youse loves me
I’s loves you
So let’s make a family tree.

How would you know, that I love you so?
I don’t say too much.
Why are you blue whenever I’m in town?
I guess life was fine till I came ’round.

I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let’s make a family tree.

I love you
And you love me
I love you
So let’s make a family tree.

The Trip…


There is a real reasion why I hate when my dad is home…

this was today…. my mom comes to me early when I was posting before saying whatever happens with Mike today, just agree with him. Make it painless… he took a weeks vacation and I should be nice. So, I just agree with her! And he’s at the DMV… and he calls and I’m all nice and shit even though it’s hard for me to do…

my mom is making a picnic lunch home made chicken nuggets and EVERYTHING to go take on the bike ride he wants to do down to washingtons crossing. then eat in the grass. Well, she makes the whole thing. and I go get my bike and bring it to the driveway and I go back inside to talk to Paul and Anthony…and I can already hear Mike and Janet fighting oer the picnic…

so in the end the picnic was scrapped. so we go anyway… and on the way to Lambertville the biggest fight of the day broke out with everyone screaming and I just wanted to get out of the car and walk home… I almost did… I hated that ride… my dad said this was a terriable day… everyone was screaming, he kept avoiding the only question…

so we almost drive home.. and go back again and take the fucking bike ride… and it was silence… me and my did riding for 8 miles… and it was silence… I need to ask dave if he wants to sneek out of his house tomorow morning and go on a ride with me before football… I don’t think he’ll want to. But it’s worth a try…

no one is home now… I’m gonna go enjoy the silence

Beautiful life — pt1


As I’m sitting in my car… listening to my parents fight… this song was playing in my head…I’ll DO html on this, os this will be posted twice

Title- Beautiful Life
Artist- Everclear
Album- Slowmotion Daydream

You seem to make the same mistakes everyday
Sometimes its hard to open your eyes
You want to be the only cake on the table
Yeah, you say you don’t like surprises
You want to find a pretty little place to stay
You just don’t want to live and leave

I just want to be where the sun shines down
I just want to be where the sun shines down
I just want to be with you

Oh,
I really hate how you push me away
I do not like it when you shut me out
I say I love you but I really don’t know you
I want to change you but I don’t know how
I want to leave when it gets ugly and cold
I want to leave but I have no where to go

I just want to be where the sun shines down
Yeah, I just want to be where the sun shines down
On a beautiful life
I just want to find a beautiful life
I want to be where the sun shines down
I just want to find a beautiful life
I don’t care where we go
I don’t care where we go

You seem to make the same mistakes all the time
Sometimes it’s not too hard to understand why
You say you hate the things you have done
Yeah, you have been running with your back to the sun
You want to find a place where you don’t have to hide
You say you’re just happy to be alive

I just want to be where the sun shines down
Yeah, I just want to be where the sun shines down
Yeah, yeah
I just want to be where the sun shines down
On a beautiful life
I just want to find a beautiful life
I just want to be where the sun shines down
I just want to find a beautiful life
I want to be where the sun shines down
I want to be where the sun shines down

I don’t care where we go
I don’t care what we do
As long as I can be with you
I just want to be with you

well…


it’s 12:04… my parents are fighting again over a picnic thats not going to happen now… and thats okay too… I’ve just packed my own to take with me… I’m tired of junkfood and shit, I’ve brought my own stuff… if they’re not eating with me fine, I’ve not had anything yet to day and I’ve been up longer than usual…

Mikes being mike… changes his mind every other minute about where we’re going and what we’re doing… I hate it whenb he’s home for a week… everything is always so fucked up when he’s home.. me and my mom do our thing, but not when he’s here

so much tention…

anyway… I’m hoping we’re going now…it would be nice after all

::end transmision::

I useto be a real wild child — but now I am a Volvo driving soccer mom


Well, I didn’t post about much yesterday, nothing really happened worth talking about… Well, there is Eric. And Dave.

But really most of the day was pretty Vanilla, I scanned a bunch of pictures of me into my compi, I’m gonna put one up here soon, They’re my senior portrates, I think they look great personally ^^ It’s not often I wear a dress and Enjoy it really. Prom was my exception. *smiles*

Where was I now? OH .. I did go to martial arts today, I’m hoping to go to SUMMERFEST 2003 and one of the little competitions. I don’t know if my mom will let me though, the world revolved around my shoulder, that sucks. I’m going to do the sparring tournament at summerfest though, I’d like to be the grandmaster of it. Get a funny little red bag and stuff. I’m testing next month for my brown belt and it’s all good. Then I quit for a year and go back in the summer. So yeah!

But I said about Eric yesterday… I think I did… *checks* yeah. I finally found him 12 hours after I posted about him, I was so happy. But it seems like every guy I know is turning into a horny pervert! MOST of them are! and it’s driving me crazy because I DON’T CARE ABOUT SEX… get me around Victor where tasteless is tasteful, and maybe that’ll change… but yeah…

anyway, we talked for maybe an hour — and it was great… I missed him. Kinda worried about whats going to happen, but I’m not thinking about that right now because I’m trying to be free of it all… just for a little bit…

I told ben we have to get together for coffee or something, Where his raging 16 year old whoremones have to be in check… and he knows I could kick his ass anyway…

Um..What else is there? Well, I need to call Brian green to see if we can get together before school starts… I’d love to see him again, I say that a lot

well, I’ve stalled on this post as much as I can — I might have to go see seabiscut today… or a bike ride

::end transmission::