There’s not much to say… I’m frustrated! At myself and other people! I just can’t stand people acting like bitches!

I don’t know what is wrong with me! I feel so clingy especially to Victor… I’ve just been so out of it lately! Josh posted a reply to my last post and it made me think about some stuff

“No wonder I always have the feeling there’s so much more to you than I know, you’re like a bottomless pit of emotions, thoughts and so much more.”

I guess he’s right. That’s how I am. I usually like to keep things to myself but it’s like… every once and a while I just let it go… and it all got fucked again

I called Victor to talk to him. I was lonely. and she asked him to go out and get her something. I said some smart comment to Victor and he told her no. About a moment after that she started getting on Victors case about having to call There mother about something. Victor and I tried to keep talking. They wanted to know if they could put me on hold and I didn’t want to and I got a little freaked out over it. And I told victor something that bothered him. And he wanted me to explain. So Jeanna was ignored and I wanted to talk to her about it and Victor said that she would just put me on hold for it. and I wanted to tell her what my problem was. and she said she didn’t care. And that’s what hurt my feelings.

so you tell me what I should do.

I have mad a long 3 hours post

Master of wizardry and floating purple things, you’re smart, sexy and strong. You think you’re a little above others though, so you tend to not get along well.
I'm A Shalrath! Take the 'What Quake monster am I?' test!

I’m getting sick again. My mother says she thinks that it’s sinuses. I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m not suppose to be sick! and I’m getting that way again! I’m so tired of this! First it was the strep from hell… and then a cold and now this! I’ve felt bad for a long time and it’s not normal! my ears are getting a little clogged and my sinuses are a pain!! EUGH!

Well, it’s thanksgiving… all the people come and I play hostess to them hoping for a few bucks tip money. It’s all good… well, not really. My 30 year old cousin is about as mature as a 3 year old child badgering me every 25 seconds to make her a CD with my burner. So I do it then it doesn’t work and I have to do it AGAIN!!! PA comes up and wants another CD so I get to take up MORE of the little space on my Disk downloading songs for him Because i’m hoping for money and I made a promise to behave!!

Ellen and her pet dominick came. Ellen is an insane whore. I can deal with her, once a year is plenty She’s a phucking psycho about things that I’m just adapting to now because I know she’s insane!

whats with this bullshit! When the country’s at peace the family is at war!!! the Country’s at war the family’s at peace…

dominick is pretty cool, he makes such a big deal over me because I’m such a good girl and all that rot. makes me feel overly important. He slipped me a 5 at the end of the night for playing hostess and serving everyone, Keeping my mouth shut when I wasn’t spoken too and pouring coffee and doing dishes.

need I mention that I had to play my violin for them

My grandfather was all right all impressed over me, but not like Dom was. HE slipped me a 5 too. so in total I made a 10 dollar tip.

not too shabby considering I thought I’d get nothing

But I’ve felt better in the past few weeks! I don’t get it! I mean it comes and goes! one day I’ll feel great the next it’s just down right shit! I really need to get my body back under my control! Wow… life just seems to suck lately

I just don’t know whats up for me! I’m listening to Justin Timberlake!!! why?! Because he did a cover of a song I like ” Leaving on a Jet Plane” and it sounds kinda good. I
have a collection that song. Kinda like Angel. I have a million different copes of it by different people!

you know the funny thing

Timberbitch sounds more like a girl then Chantel Krebizuck ever had! and THAT is a bad thing! I’m getting the Jewel version of that song too. I have at least one by everyone that’s done it. I’m such a flake! Well, girls gotta have a hobby. hun?! but I’m thinking something odd… Jewel was Chantel on the Armageddon soundtrack… because that’s really her voice…

wow I’m an idiot

i’m gonna get a leftovers sandwich in a few minutes, I could go for some dinner then a niice looong nap! I love that narcotic in turkey. ‘Tis one of my favorite things! Maybe Vicito will call me before I pass out from turkey OD. I’d like that ^^;;

He’s so special to me ^^ I love him sooo much. I never knew someone so wonderful would come into my life and make me feel so… I don’t know! Great all over? He’s done so much wonderful stuff by just talking to me and being kind. Even is all of a sudden he was to think of me as the skum of the earth I’d still love him, because he was so very nice to me. Not many people were nice to me before he was. It’s a wonderful feeling, being in love! ^^ I can’t wait for the moment I feel his arms around me. That will be one of the best days in my life! if not THE BEST. to me, just knowing he loves me keeps me alive inside, I know I sound like a wash out… but I hate being alone and havin that alone feeling… I get scared… and I like being independent… but sometimes that scares me too… like I’ll get stranded and no one can help me… and I felt like that for a looong time. totally isolated and hated by everyone… and part of that was true, a lot of people were cruel to me and degrading and just down right mean to me for nothing…I mean, before I met him I was thinking about suicide…I had tried a lot of times before then, all of them were hopeless, messy disasters… but I felt this time I was ready to die and was ready to do it the right way… but.. even when we didn’t know each other… He had this power over me… it wasn’t a dominating thing… but it was a gentle feeling… like he really cared about me, or Julaya as it was…his Zorro cared about my Julaya back then… before Victor knew me he knew Julaya. Julaya was the girl I wanted to be and never could back then, Because she was strong and independent, she was princess of the planet. They were friends and he cared about her, Maybe they were always more then friends, but that RP feeling was really strong… that was enough for me. If Julaya was loved then maybe that would be enough to keep me from being so scared and lonely. And it worked… And I finally worked my way off total dependance from her. And as Julaya became Queen of her world I became the queen of my own… but that would take some more time… and I was scared I wouldn’t make it that far on my own…

it was sad back then for me, I was so desperate for any kind of love, that I used Julaya to get it for me. Zorro cared about Julaya and I fed of that caring… and pretended that he was talking to me. Yeah, it was 2 years ago… but when I think about it still feels fresh. Because that was my reality for so long… I had no one that loved me until two years ago. I was a burden on everyone. And it didn’t help that I was loosing or lost everyone that felt important to me.

I had a feeling that he wouldn’t leave me. and unless you’ve been truly alone you don’t know how wonderful that felt for me. even in RP… the few times we talked for real… I loved him, I loved him but I was so scared he didn’t love me and that fear of being rejected by him. was too much for me. it was way too much for me…

I think you can figure out the rest. I think everyone is sick of hearing this but I have a lot in my system right now and sometimes just thinking of what I had then and what I have now makes me feel gratefully!

I wanted to get to what I’m thankful for. It’s not much… but to me it’s the world

What i’m thankful for…

Finally having a family. after being alone for so long and finally knowing that i’m living with two people that love me and are going to keep me

Having some true to hell friends, Lauren and Artie. They’ve been so nice to me, Epically at the homecoming where I was crying and Artie gave me a hug and held me until I felt better. and Lauren for being herself and giving me a hug too and telling me she cared. and Jen Niece and Heather. There also great, THere fun to hang out with and to talk to, epically if theres a problem or just bored out of your head!
and I know I’m forgetting someone. There’s Puck, she’s great, I mean. She’s listened to make and helped me not to kill angelqueer after he’s wounded me,severely. and showed me how to do a dropspin even though I’m not a color guard ^^
And Josh, I wanted to say him last for one reason. Because there’s so much to say, he’s always been so nice to me, so sweet. I know he has a crush on me, and I love him like a brother. I’d do anything for him. and he’s probably my truest friend. ever. and i’m thankful for having a friend like him to talk to and get to have fun with

And then there’s my Victor and there’s also Ricky. Those two guys are always there. Epically Ricky, whom I have been known to call at midnight because I’m having nightmares, or I’m bothered by something… and Vic just because he’s Vic and I’d already said why. **smiles**

well, this post is about 40 pages too long… but I feel better

Happy thanksgiving. That Garbage sandwich (( Toasted rye bread, Turkey, Cranberry sause, Stuffing, Salt ‘n Pepper and Mayo ALL TOGETHER)) is beginning to kick in and I’m’ exhausted.

G’ night

I have a real post to do but I’m gonna do the survey first, because I’m listening to some really pretty songs

What time is it?: 4:42
What is the date?: 1st of November 2001
Why are you filling this out?: um…. because it’s here and so am I

-*-*YoU yOu YoU*-*-
Full name: Juliet Michelle-Anne Juillet-Williamson
Do you like it?: It’s all right. I usually have to hack off a few names to get it to fit on any types of papers though u.u;;
Nicknames: Twitch, Julaya, Jula,
If you could change your first name, what would it be?: I like Juliet. but Alaborn Reclicbane, Kismet Todavias or Julaya-na all sound god to me too
(same as above) middle name?: I’ve changed a part of it already. From Michelle to Michelle-Anne
Age: 16
DOB: March 23th, 1985
Height: 5’1” petite yet powerful
Hair color: light dirty blondish brown. usually darker brown
Eye color: blue & green
Where do you live?: Annandale. In the armpit of america
Do you like it there?: I’ve learned to live with it
Why/Why not: I came from Chicago for 10 years. so yeah, I’d kinda say moving out into the woods was a REAL kick in the ass
Astrological sign: Aries with pieiean traites
Shoe Size: 8 in ladies
Grade: 10th
School: North Hunterdon Regional Highschool
GPA: 3.2-3.5

Parents names: Mike Williamson and Janet Juillet ((HMMMMM wonder where my name came from… gee wiz…))
Do you have any siblings?: Yes.
If so, what are their names and ages?: Mark- 31-32 Lisa 22-23
Are your parents divorced/remarried/single?: married… I think
Pets: A dog and some fish
Names: Spunky
Do you like your family?: Not often
Favorite relative: Lisa. she’s awesome

Number: 116
Color: Midnight blue
Car: Steel Blue metallic Jeep grad cherokee Laredo limited with a sunroof and a cd player… hey! wait a second! THATS MY CAR!!
Season: Winter
Holiday: none. I hate the holidays
Month: March
Day of the week: anyone that doesn’t end with “Y”
Grade so far: B or C
Sport: Marching Band
Class: Music anything
Teacher so far: Angelqueer. he’s an asshole
Drink: Green tea with lemon and Ginsing
Food: sushi
Fruit: Kiwi’s, apples, peaches. anything bright and berryish
Veggie: potatoes
Dessert: We never have dessert
TV show: I rarly watch TV
Radio station: 97.5 WPST
CD: La Entrada– Extended edition & Stabbing Westward
Movie: Interview with the Vampire
Actor: Brad pitt
Actress: Meg ryan
Song: 5 for fighting, Superman
Word: …fuck
Phrase: Bullshit poppycock and all that rot
Quote: Bullshit poppycock and all that rot
Animal: Foxes. there sooo cute ^^
Flower: Peach roses
Clothing store: I like deb, delias and alloy… but I hate the lables on the chest
Article of clothing: my Leather sandles with some kind of sock and 32” flared worn blue jeans
Underwear: the pretty ones with the treasure troles from when I was younger
State (that you’ve been to): home. Illinois
Ice cream flavor: Chocolate
Breakfast food: poppyseed bagle
Way to have fun: Music. and playing anything I can get my hands on

-*-*ThIs Or ThAt*-*-
Me/You: Him
CD/Cassette: CD
Radio/CD: Both
Slow dance/Freak dance: slow dance
Jeans/Khakis: Jeans
Jacket/Coat: Frock coat
Leather/Pleather: leather
Sparkles/Bronze: sparkles
Sexy/Hot: Cute!
Car/Truck: Jeep
Civic/Acura: once again JEEP
Corvette/Camero: I SAID JEEP GOD DAMN IT!!!
Strong/Weak: petite yet powerful
Upset/Pissed: both
Tall/Short: short
Lunch/Dinner: lunch
Abercrombie/Hollister: both are slut stores
Gap/Old Navy: Navy.
Nsync/BSB: why can’t they go back to that festering themepark where they came from?!
Britney/Christina: cheap street corner whores
Love/Lust: love
Gone In 60 Seconds/The Fast and the Furious: Interview with the Vampire
Inside/Outside: depends on how cold it is
Lipstick/Lipgloss: gloss
Silver/Gold: Silver
Piercings/Tattoos: neither
Football/Basketball: FOOTBALL BABY!!
Thunder/Lightning: thunder
This/That: this sucks so much THAT i think I’m gonna cry

-*-*LoVe n ReLaTiOnShIpS*-*-
Do you have a bf/gf?: Yeah
If so, who?: Vicito
If not, do you have a crush?: …
If so, who?: ….
How long have you liked your bf/gf/crush?: almost 2 years.
What about them do you like so much?: He’s adorable. His personality is so sweet and he cares a lot about me and is very tolerant when it comes to my weaknesses.
What is their strongest quality?: He’s a gentle and smart person
Weakest quality?: He can be pretty critical of himself at times
How long have you known them?: 2 years
What physical feature attracted you to them first?: his eyes
Personality feature: everything
If you could kiss one famous >MUSICIANACTORNEVER< said a thing?: I've always had a crush on the guy James. Until he turned into a dickhead and spit on my lastyear and I had to kick him in those balls he doesnt have anymore

If you could take back one thing you did, what would it be and why?: Everything.
Do you have any regrets?: Yes.
Last thing you said: … I hate the holdays
Last song you heard: Listening to Shannendoah
Last person you talked to: My mom
If you could get back together with an ex, who would it be and why?: I hate all my exes equally. Except for Zach, he's okay… maybe him… if something happened and he grovled

What are you doing right now?: Thinking
What cd is in your cd player?: Luna Sea
Are you cold?: my hands are
How are you sitting?: bad
Is there music on?: Yes
If so, what song is it?: Shanendoah
What time is it?: 4:40
Where are your parents?: in the house, downstairs away from me

How old will you be when you graduate high school?: 19
Are you going to get married?: I truly do hope so..
Although you cant tell who you'll marry, is there anyone you'd wish it would be?: yes
If so, who?: My Victor because I love him so very much
Are you going to have children?: I hope so. a little girl **smiles**
If yes, how many?: 1 maybe two
What will you name them?: well, Reva michelle and maybe Raven for the other little girl. I don't know about boys
Do you want to go to college?: yeah, I want to be a music teacher and conduct something famious.
Which college: one of the consavitories, or Julliard or UDEL is fine for me
What kind of car will you want to drive: steelblue jeep grand cherokee laredo limited
What kind of job will you have: Music teacher
Whats your expectations for when your 25?:With Victor and teaching some highschool kids music

-*-*HaVe YoU eVeR*-*-
Drank: Yeah
Skinny Dipped: Once
Prank called the police: a few times
Been followed, etc by the police: my grandfather and my uncle ARE the police
Been high: on what?!
done drugs: Cipro?
If so, what?: N/A
Stole: Yes, it was a plastic thing off of a pair of nick sneakers
Met someone off the net: yeah
Been in a fist fight: Yes, several.
Punched your sibling/parent: yeah, me and my sibs fight
Wished you'd die: A lot of times.
Tried to commit suicide: lot of times
Broken a bone: many
Driven illegally:yeah
Thrown things at your parents: Yes.
Runaway: from a lot of things.
Filled out a survey this long: sadly…. yes

Do you right in cursive or print?: rhey Genious. it's WRITE ya moron! and I thought I was an idiot. I swich back and forth between the two at any given time
Are you a lefty, righty, or ambidextrious: ambi
Do you believe in God?: The godess is twice as forgiving
Whats your religion?: by birth it's Roman Catholic, by choice it's wiccan
What do you think of rainbows?: Pretty, unless there's a black one. then there's death
My oppinion? PWEETYFULL *.*
Do you have any piercings/tattoos?: No
If so, where?:
If not, do you want any, where?: not really
What do you think of Eminem?: Can you say WHITE TRASH?
Is Tupac Shakur really dead?: if he's not I'll do the honners
What do you think of Britney and Justin?: chep streetcorner whores with nothing better to do then strip on a stange infront of peoples.
If you could live anywhere else, where would you live?: near Victor
Do you drive?: Once in a blue moon.
Do you have braces or glasses?: Glasses
Like milk and cookies?: Cookies ^^;;
Ever worn black nail polish?: no. I have no nails
If your a guy, have you ever painted your nails?:
Girls, what color nail polish do you have on?: none, I don't have enough nail to paint
If you could have a 6th sense, what would it be?: I'm a psycic
If you have a magical power, what would it be and why would you want it?:I'd like to fly. I know it's normal but I'd love just to close my eyes a just float away from everything that hurts me.
If you could be invisible for a day what would you do?: pee standing up
Do you do things even when your parents say no?: Yes
What is your favorite song to "rock out" to?: Everclear. ROCKSTAR
Ever taken anything from a hotel?:I'm not my grandmother who takes EVERYTHING
Did you talk to your crush/bf/gf today?:For a few minutes. IT was nice
If so, for how long?:
If not, why not?:
Do you think this is stupidly long?:… uh yeah, just a little to fucking long… if I wasn't waiting for someone to sign on I'd never do this fucking thing… grrrr..

What time is it?: 5:35
Why did you just do this?: no reasion. just because I'm waiting for people to sign on and hiding from the thanksgiving prep work downstairs

My sleepy time song..

I’m tired… I worked my ass off and I’m tired. Todays my year anniversary at Clinton Bagle company. well, actually it’s tomorrow. but I started on a Sunday a year ago.

god I’m exhausted. And yes, I have school tomorrow and I didn’t do most of the stuff I was assigned ** shrugs** whatever

**changed the track to angel and yawns again** i’m gonna go call Lauren.