I’m sleepy… and my toung hurts still.. damn cookie… Had to burn m’self didn’t I?

… don’t ask okay?

I had a really good day today… and now I’m wrapped up in a blanket and thinking back on the year… so I’ll do my normal ranting to make myself happy!

This morning was cool, I got up early and I saw no one was home so I got to do my AM Yoga workout before anyone got in. It felt so good to center myself and just stretch and do whever I needed to do to get myself awake, I love when i can do something for myself thats peaceful… got done, started but never got to do another Video…um… went upstairs and talked to Vic and john… no comment on that…

I went to Colins house today too and played with the triplets, they’re so much fun, we had pizza and played for hours and I learned how to use a flight sym and it was great, I got to fly and crash a biplane and a bunch of other things and playfight with toy guns and a yardstick *lol* Thatwas when the triplets left though

I went home at 4ish … and talked to Heather about things and about Boys… we talked about Dave… and she wants to know why we’re not going out and we talekd about it and she asked him… and I know it’s better we’re jut friends but he said it was because we both dont want to… how does he know… I just would love to know … out of everyone in NHHS, honestly who would he go out with, out of the whole school … I know not me, but still!

got lonely thinknig aobut it, knowing I’m not going to have a date to the prom…made me feel crappy thinking about all of this, I’m one of those people …anyway

went to dinner with garrett and his family and that was fun, they got me a japanese cooking book, I loved that and dinner was totally awesome … So now I’m exhausted… I have been anyway!

but I’ve just been thinking about this whole year and all that random shit… and how it all needs to be better and all of that stuff and I still want to know what people are thinking… and since I’m tired as hell.. I’m gonna go do randomshit

the past few days.. .


God. its tuesday already? How’d this happen? Whats gone on since sunday hmmm…..

I went to flemington with colin… I don’t know he can be such an as, why do I waste my time on him? we left at noon, and he’s talking about christmas in the car with me and he’s saying about all the expensive stuff he’s gotten and I’m feel like crap because my family is kinda broke as always and we don’t have that kind of money to spend on all the stuff… I mena, I get the stuff I want, but I can’t get those things, its like he doesn’t have to look for clearance… or Things on sale… He wanted to go to the army navy store and I should have said no… but we go and he sepnds like… an hour in there looking at pans, like I don’t even exist and I know it was where he wanted to go but for gods sake when you’re with someone else I think the common courtasy is to only take a little time? he gets a bunch of pins and stuff and we’re talking about people and things and stuff going on … and he wants to go get lunch and ther’s this great little place my mom went to in the Turntable junction, it’s this little sandwitch place so we go there and he did something that just made me cringe … he started talking about all the money his grandmother has, and how he gets to go to these “5 star” restarunts… he gets all this money for christmas… and god I felt out of place… he’s spending about $70-80 on toys everytime we go out…. when he askes me to go with him, But he wouldn’t get my homecomming ticket after he asked me… I don’t understand… my dad gave me $40 and told me I want change back. I spent $25 including lunch and I felt bad that I spent that on a stationary set, hair coloring, a comic book and a mini battery opperated aquarium for my dorm…I didn’t need any of that stuff… but I wanted to have the two things for my dorm so I’ll feel a little more at home, I won’t get to bring my fish…

But why does someone with so much money to burn not act like a gentleman… god… if I had money like that I’d treat the person I asked to come with me to a soda or something…The lady at the restarunt gave us a chocolate chocolate cookie to split, she was so nice. and he had his wallet out and I did too so I gave them a tip for it because thats there prophets, I mean, cookie or not it was so nice and I’m the only one that left the tip for them… am I just being a total bitch? tell me if I am?

that restarunt was great, we sat in there talking for over an hour… they have great ceaser salads there. I just don’t understand why he wants to talk about money but be so cheap with everyone else…he was talking about wanting me to go to his prom with him… but I mean, where’s the fun in going as a date if I have to pay for my half of the pictures and my ticket?

This is something else since I’m on the topic of colin! He doesn’t listen to me! So… he got me those lovely gold hoop earrings… and I told him that I loved them… but I’m not getting pierced ears or ever going to, so I gave them back to him and said I liked them… so he got me something else SILVER PIERCED EARRINGS! HELLO!!!!!!! DO YOU LISTEN TO ME?! What the hell!?

am I being a bitch here about this?! But what the hell is going on! I feel so bad about this but he never listens to anything I have to say! it’s always about HIM…jesus… I’m so tired of it… so we GO BACK to the army store after lunch and I make a stop at the southwest store… just to break away from things… and right when he’s done… and I wanted to go back to Liberty Village… he calls his mom wanting to go home, well, thats all good if you’re by yourself and you’ve spent 70 out of the 300 you have… but I wanted to return the haircoloring I got and get my $3 because I remembered I had some at home… and I wanted to take my 3 and get hair clips… but no, we had to stand there and wait for his mom… well, there’s another 35 minutes … I could have gone to claires and back… but it’s better I didn’t… I didn’t need to waste my dads money…

His dad comes instead of his mom and we’re talking on the ride home about things and he wanted to know if he could come visit me at college, sadly… here’s the thing… I want to go far away to be left alone by EVERYONE that I’m sick and tired of…and guess what. HE’S ONE OF THEM!!!

Get home… and I told my mom this… I was home by 3:50… and she didn’t understand why we came back so soon, she didn’t understand what he’d be doing the rest of the afternoon and I told her he had to get 3 military toy sets and a dicast plane and 12 pins… I didn’t understand it… so my mom and I talked for a while… dyed my hair blue…

I talked to anthony and he offered to take me to Fabs holiday party, I was so happy about it, he’s so sweet… we went and stayed until 10…my favorite part was being in the car talking to him, I like spending time with him, I got him a sushi kit for christmas and he got me the pirates DVD, I’ve never seenthat movie, but I’m going to…. and tomorrow I get ot watch sonic X, I recorded it on saturday! hehe

but the party wasn’t that great… we watched family guy for a while and ate pizza and laughed like hell, that was cool too. and we went into the other room and I’m a dork and started making torches out of marshmellows and stuff when we were making smores … and Rob and I were throwing Marchmellows at eachother… but when a couple of people took shots I went into the other room to get some soda and was talking to Liz who was inthere and a bunch of other people came in we kinda had our own little thing in there. That was fun too, just talking about school and phones and things… but I was tired and crabby from the day with colin and I wasn’t in the mood to go anymore, but I was going to even if anthony didn’t offer me the ride. Dun feel like going into that…

we left at 10 and that ride was fun too, he took the long way, nothing much to really say there… but we missed ALL of the lights in clinton, thats UNHEARD of!!!

went home… and just wanted to sleep… so I took a shower, called Vic and passed out late… thats about it…

I don’t really remember monday… why… I dunno… I did something… when I remember…. well… it’ll all go up …

Today was great, I had a fencing meet early and we won, 15-12 but the idiots didn’t tell me what time the buss was leaving so I had to drove to VHS on my own and got ther eat 9 when they left at 8:45!!! the meet starteed at 10 and we were done by 12:30 and I was happy to be home at 1:15 to have lunch and go out to flemington and get my picks and my strings and some ben and jerry’s!!! woo. there wasn’t much else that was going on… tomorrow Colin asked me to go over to his house, I want to see the triplets again, I love those little guys, they’re all so cool.

I need to get up to do yoga tomorrow too, I’ve been meaning to do AM yoga for the past week, I’m hoping to get into the habit of doing it every morning before school starts in an attacpt to get myself back into the body type for martial arts, I feel so fat and stupid! I hate my body and I wish it could be better…. so all I can do is work to make it better and hate everything thats not the perfect 110.

and I get to take my Driving test on Jan 5th and have an away fencing meet at 2:30 too… and on the 7th I get to go have my teeth fixed… woo… and tomorrow night I get to go out to dinner with Garrett and his family and my family and have Christmas/new year … so… until tomorrow I’m going to go do what I want to do… like another Jigsaw puzzle or play piano or guitar or just music or something…

:: End Transmission::

the past few days.. .


God. its tuesday already? How’d this happen? Whats gone on since sunday hmmm…..

I went to flemington with colin… I don’t know he can be such an as, why do I waste my time on him? we left at noon, and he’s talking about christmas in the car with me and he’s saying about all the expensive stuff he’s gotten and I’m feel like crap because my family is kinda broke as always and we don’t have that kind of money to spend on all the stuff… I mena, I get the stuff I want, but I can’t get those things, its like he doesn’t have to look for clearance… or Things on sale… He wanted to go to the army navy store and I should have said no… but we go and he sepnds like… an hour in there looking at pans, like I don’t even exist and I know it was where he wanted to go but for gods sake when you’re with someone else I think the common courtasy is to only take a little time? he gets a bunch of pins and stuff and we’re talking about people and things and stuff going on … and he wants to go get lunch and ther’s this great little place my mom went to in the Turntable junction, it’s this little sandwitch place so we go there and he did something that just made me cringe … he started talking about all the money his grandmother has, and how he gets to go to these “5 star” restarunts… he gets all this money for christmas… and god I felt out of place… he’s spending about $70-80 on toys everytime we go out…. when he askes me to go with him, But he wouldn’t get my homecomming ticket after he asked me… I don’t understand… my dad gave me $40 and told me I want change back. I spent $25 including lunch and I felt bad that I spent that on a stationary set, hair coloring, a comic book and a mini battery opperated aquarium for my dorm…I didn’t need any of that stuff… but I wanted to have the two things for my dorm so I’ll feel a little more at home, I won’t get to bring my fish…

But why does someone with so much money to burn not act like a gentleman… god… if I had money like that I’d treat the person I asked to come with me to a soda or something…The lady at the restarunt gave us a chocolate chocolate cookie to split, she was so nice. and he had his wallet out and I did too so I gave them a tip for it because thats there prophets, I mean, cookie or not it was so nice and I’m the only one that left the tip for them… am I just being a total bitch? tell me if I am?

that restarunt was great, we sat in there talking for over an hour… they have great ceaser salads there. I just don’t understand why he wants to talk about money but be so cheap with everyone else…he was talking about wanting me to go to his prom with him… but I mean, where’s the fun in going as a date if I have to pay for my half of the pictures and my ticket?

This is something else since I’m on the topic of colin! He doesn’t listen to me! So… he got me those lovely gold hoop earrings… and I told him that I loved them… but I’m not getting pierced ears or ever going to, so I gave them back to him and said I liked them… so he got me something else SILVER PIERCED EARRINGS! HELLO!!!!!!! DO YOU LISTEN TO ME?! What the hell!?

am I being a bitch here about this?! But what the hell is going on! I feel so bad about this but he never listens to anything I have to say! it’s always about HIM…jesus… I’m so tired of it… so we GO BACK to the army store after lunch and I make a stop at the southwest store… just to break away from things… and right when he’s done… and I wanted to go back to Liberty Village… he calls his mom wanting to go home, well, thats all good if you’re by yourself and you’ve spent 70 out of the 300 you have… but I wanted to return the haircoloring I got and get my $3 because I remembered I had some at home… and I wanted to take my 3 and get hair clips… but no, we had to stand there and wait for his mom… well, there’s another 35 minutes … I could have gone to claires and back… but it’s better I didn’t… I didn’t need to waste my dads money…

His dad comes instead of his mom and we’re talking on the ride home about things and he wanted to know if he could come visit me at college, sadly… here’s the thing… I want to go far away to be left alone by EVERYONE that I’m sick and tired of…and guess what. HE’S ONE OF THEM!!!

Get home… and I told my mom this… I was home by 3:50… and she didn’t understand why we came back so soon, she didn’t understand what he’d be doing the rest of the afternoon and I told her he had to get 3 military toy sets and a dicast plane and 12 pins… I didn’t understand it… so my mom and I talked for a while… dyed my hair blue…

I talked to anthony and he offered to take me to Fabs holiday party, I was so happy about it, he’s so sweet… we went and stayed until 10…my favorite part was being in the car talking to him, I like spending time with him, I got him a sushi kit for christmas and he got me the pirates DVD, I’ve never seenthat movie, but I’m going to…. and tomorrow I get ot watch sonic X, I recorded it on saturday! hehe

but the party wasn’t that great… we watched family guy for a while and ate pizza and laughed like hell, that was cool too. and we went into the other room and I’m a dork and started making torches out of marshmellows and stuff when we were making smores … and Rob and I were throwing Marchmellows at eachother… but when a couple of people took shots I went into the other room to get some soda and was talking to Liz who was inthere and a bunch of other people came in we kinda had our own little thing in there. That was fun too, just talking about school and phones and things… but I was tired and crabby from the day with colin and I wasn’t in the mood to go anymore, but I was going to even if anthony didn’t offer me the ride. Dun feel like going into that…

we left at 10 and that ride was fun too, he took the long way, nothing much to really say there… but we missed ALL of the lights in clinton, thats UNHEARD of!!!

went home… and just wanted to sleep… so I took a shower, called Vic and passed out late… thats about it…

I don’t really remember monday… why… I dunno… I did something… when I remember…. well… it’ll all go up …

Today was great, I had a fencing meet early and we won, 15-12 but the idiots didn’t tell me what time the buss was leaving so I had to drove to VHS on my own and got ther eat 9 when they left at 8:45!!! the meet starteed at 10 and we were done by 12:30 and I was happy to be home at 1:15 to have lunch and go out to flemington and get my picks and my strings and some ben and jerry’s!!! woo. there wasn’t much else that was going on… tomorrow Colin asked me to go over to his house, I want to see the triplets again, I love those little guys, they’re all so cool.

I need to get up to do yoga tomorrow too, I’ve been meaning to do AM yoga for the past week, I’m hoping to get into the habit of doing it every morning before school starts in an attacpt to get myself back into the body type for martial arts, I feel so fat and stupid! I hate my body and I wish it could be better…. so all I can do is work to make it better and hate everything thats not the perfect 110.

and I get to take my Driving test on Jan 5th and have an away fencing meet at 2:30 too… and on the 7th I get to go have my teeth fixed… woo… and tomorrow night I get to go out to dinner with Garrett and his family and my family and have Christmas/new year … so… until tomorrow I’m going to go do what I want to do… like another Jigsaw puzzle or play piano or guitar or just music or something…

:: End Transmission::

Over rated


Parties suck ass…. I want to get this blue shit out of my hair and I want it now and I want to go to bed and forget this all ever happened…

more on the colin fiasco… the party with fabianne and the only good thing that happened tonight…. sometime tomorrow morning…