First Saturday

that I’m not working or have a football game to be at … and it feels kinda good but at the same time its a little bit sad to know that my time in marching band is really, really over. i really should be cleaning up the house and doing dishes but i just want to post beforei forget to do it. 

The babies are so cute, they’ve gotten so big and Davis and I are back talking seriously (not like we ever really weren’t) about working on having a baby. It’s not like we weren’t serious, a lot of that was a bit of my problem because ive been scared. I know its a big adjustment to life and a huge change but I know its getting to be time for things like this. It’s been so much up and down over the past 2 years. 

I like not having to be at a game today but some parts of me are sad about it because I feel like thats another part of that life I had is gone. I think I grew up a lot in the past 2 years and I was done last year. I jsut want to get done with school sometimes and move on with this part of my life. But sometimes I don’t think i want to do it the way I am. Not leave Davis, I’m happy with him. There is just so much drama. 

I think after I go see him for lunch I’m going to do some cleaning before work tomorrow. I need to get quarters too for laundry since its that time of the month and I’m not happy. 

I don’t really know what to post about. There are a lot of things going on in my head… like the fact that i’m graduating from here in a may and have to get my life in order… and I’m really worried about money…I’m not going to put that all in here, i have my little list on this paper beside me about how i’m going to pay the bills and make sure I do my part to get us up to date. I don’t want us to be behind anymore and I realize that a lot of that was from last year was my problem for not getting my priorities in line. This is all jsut so new to me. I don’t really understand how imporant some of this stuff is because he is older than me and has more lief expeirence in some things. That doesn’t upset me, just like knowing hes stronger than me and bigger than me cant.

I want the bills call caught up by november… I don’t know how its going to happen…it will i’m not too worried, I just have to keep doing my part. I guess… well… other than being mistreated in the ensamble is the fact that I know i need to work … its better if I am. and yes, i am very sad in my own way about not doing band anymore but i jsut had to make sure my priorities were in line… and when it really got to the bottom of it …well… makeing sure we don’t loose th land… and the other things… well… I made my choices didn’t I?

My mother gave me money… there was something else I wanted to do with it, but i cant in good conscious… no… we’re a team… and that means more to me than anything else in this world. i just worry about the check from Alice… I hope that its good still. I’m actually almost terrifdied to cash it now… but its money that i know we need. I have maple story up too and other things i need to do… 

I wanted to go dancing tonight but I can’t… I know he gave me the $20 to get money for laundry and to go dancing if i want to go… but my hip still hurts from yesterday and i really should get a new spong for dishes… I just… this is why i stopped going to contra last year… there will always be another dance… 

I wish i could get my check thursday I have to get the payment for thel and in the mail by thursday… i keep starting to talk about money in here and i really shouldn’t.

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