My mom came down again

Well, my mom came down again to help me out …I had a nervous breakdown this morning because our utilities were turned off and we have no chance of getting them turned back on ourselves… we have no money or anything… and I was working on job applications and then everything went down … I was so hysterical and i didn't want to have her have to help me again … I was crying so hard and so bad…but she came down and did what she could for us … and given that I'm not posting from my phone and i am from my desktop …

I panic cleaned the whole house before she got here because i was so worried about what she'd think and she was kinda scolding me because i was so upset over what she'd think of my house not being clean enough … but she didn't care…

she was more mad that I didn't eat all day or from early yesterday either….so she forced a vegi BLT on me….

she helped me with money to do the laundry and helped me do it too … that was kinda funny but nice at the same time because we just got to spend another day talking and just… having a nice day. I love my mom so much, even if there was nothing she could do finantially to help me I NEVER would ahve asked for that anyway… just coming and spending the day with me so im not having a life full of panic attacks was so worth it to me Oh,  and she helped me haul the other rug from the cellar up here… Davis got it as a sample from his store for free a few years ago.. so other than the big hole cut out of the one end of it where the sign went it's a perfectly good rug… she helped and we put it under where the couch is so it looks almost like we have a hallway sorta and a living room because the space is divided… But I didn't think of it and she did from when we cleaned the cellar out.

she said they're happy to help when and where they can because they know i'll try to pay them back… i already did once… i paid her back $400 but then i had to borrow it AGAIN when the breaks on my car died and i had to get them….

…but we have our utilities back on … and hopefully that bag will be picked up soon and my stress level can go back down…i don't feel like eating but Davis wants me to… so he's just going to have pizza and i think i'll make an omlet for myself… i don't know… maybe this diet isn't going to work…

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