omg the lightning was so big I almost peed myself …. omg omg omg …but I was able to walk home nice and dry. That was good.

tonight im having crabcakes (Davis is working late) … and couscous and green beans and he has steak. however, the crabcakes only cook if I remember to have the toaster overn plugged in. So that was 20 wasted minutes. oh well.

work was long but its still not bad… oh, and there's wine. I hope its chilled enough

im off tomorrow to go to the dentist too… I have caveties. Im tired of freaking out. Im working on acceptance. thats good for me. I think I've got myself to be ok at the idea that I need this done, its for the best, its just a cleaning and fillings to follow. I dont need to panic anymore and I dont think the attention is important anymore. its really hard for me and will take time to get there all the way. All I can do is the best I can do.

I work with women who could be me in a few years if I dont work on myself. its scary disgusting.

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