Went to DP M&S with Cowbell… that was great. She has a 1/2 sized guitar that hasn’t had new strings for about 12 years. I was so happy I was able to restring it and polish it up all nice for her. It deserved to be treated well after sitting locked away for all those years. I’m thinking about getting pickups for my mandolin and make it an electric mandolin… I’m a little attached with mine to trade it in for something new. I love that piece of crap. It was the only instrument I got with my own money like that. I have to keep it.
The nut popped off as I was polishing it… that lead for another interesting quest… Lets find superglue in the crappy little town I live in. We ended up at a gas station 1/2 between the main and south campuses got what we needed and went for dinner up noth… I had to actually come home to my mothers this weekend because i have a 12 meal card and I used them all this week… so I really had nothing of any nutritional value if I didn’t go home… pathetic right?
Homecomming dance was last night and it was a complete washout. I was probably the best dressed girl there… not the best looking, but best dressed. They’re all stupid little kids and I forget that. They know nothing aboout finding something for their body type of flattering. But what would I know about things like that?
So I went with Jonathan… He’s a nice guy, I guess. But he doesn’t dance, mingle or even hold a good conversation most of the time. So we spent about 30 minutes there and realized that this stunk. So I wanted to go back to my place… His mother drove him to the dance and he couldn’t go home until 11 when the dance ended. I said he could come back to my place and we could play old videogames and things until his mother came. She could come pick him up from my building… but he declined. His mother doesn’t seem to trust him around women. he said she told him there was to be no “hugging, kissing or touching of any kind” because he can’t control himself. I’ve known him since last semester and he’s a NERD. I true sterotypical nerd. Not someone I think its going to pin me to a wall and rip my dress off.
So he said he couldn’t come over to my place to play sonic… we walked (in the cold) over to Memorial Hall to get sketching paper and then over to the library to draw maps of Mossflower woods amd things like that. I know it is very lame. He wants for us to have a good map of mossflower country. I don’t know if that can exactally be done, but what do I care. We get out two books and go downstairs… ended up starting a 1000 piece puzzle until the library closed and ended up walking back to the union building…. It was 10pm by this time and we ended up BACK AT THE UNION and sat outside drawing the rest of the night. I was dissapointed because I wanted to go in and swing dance but I couldn’t do that or do anything else. I just felt really bumbed out over it.
His mother doesn’t trust him so there was nothing else to do but wait around for over an hour until she got there and I had to take the van back down to where I lived… Not like there was anything wrong with taking the van back down but I felt weird that his mother is so anti-girl for him. I don’t even like the guy but knowing someone is like that makes me want to run away … or at least run as fast as I could in those stilettos I wore trying to look nice.
went back down south to end up seeing emilys pigsty of a room.
the only good thing is that she is leaving this week. She thinks I hate her and I never said that. I said she annoyed me but I never said anything about hating her or something like that. and I never started rumors about her either. She can think all she wants to think but its her problem. That just means rachel and I get more room. How wonderful is that? No more little Emily annoyances. Sometime this week she should be out. AMEN TO THAT….
The rest of the night went like always… and I ended up talking to someone that I do truly love… truly … I fell asleep on him again too. I do feel guilty about doing that but I just… well… there’s nothing earth shattering about how I feel about him, even if it doesn’t always appear like that… sometimes I just feel like I’m a ticking time bomb that keeps getting closer to going off… but he makes it better somehow. I’ve opened myself up all the good, bad, ugly and worst and somehow its never going to be okay but its just…. fine.
Yes, its fine.
Saturday it poured… I mean… poured like no tomorrow for the homecomming game. Soaked to my underclothes, we lost the game and it was horrendis. I was so upset about having to be there and it took over an hour for me to get a coat…but cowbell and enjoyed getting to beat the crap out of our things.
sunday was uneventful… went to spend time with my mom… and burgerking… yay
and I started this post saturday afternoon and its still not done…
Last night I had seizures… strong hard seizures and i just remember there being pain and talking to him… i just remember talking to him and knowing no matter how much it hurt he was going to wait there with me and when I came out of the last one he was there. i think I truly do love him and there is more to post but it is getting late.
and its officially monday so what the hell. I’ll just keep going on this post and making it everything that it should be…. but thats another post…
Emily moved out today … amazing and Rachel and I couldn’t be happier. so much redecorating and moveing and CLEANING… LOTS OF CLEANING… it was amazing and now i feel like my stress leval has gone down dramatically!!!!!! YAY