29% on the first major chemistry test … I was trying to do a post on what it means to hope. Not for anyone particular, but for myself.
I got that exam back and I’ve lost my hope right now. It will come back, it always does…
The seizures are back and worse than they were before they left. I don’t know if I can make it through this again, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight this battle again. I’m just so tired and so discouraged. How could they have been gone long enough for me to have one of the most amazing weekends of my life only to come back worse than they were?
Sometimes I feel that heaven is only here to break things down… Heaven is the unattainable, the the we all hope will be perfect but never existed to begin with.
I’m going to fail… I’m going to fail and dissapoint everyone like I always do… but then again, I wouldn’t be me if the expectations were too high and I’m not the right person for the job after all.
so until I get my hope back, I’ll go to class… maybe the hope post will come to me.