okay. This is about the 10 thousanth time I’ve started this post

I put in here that thing I cross posted in the KenPenders board. and I’ve been really wanting to post about my thoughts. This is the place for me to do it, right? You don’t have to read the back story to the comic if you don’t want to, or hell, read any of it for all I care. its Therapy for me.

To get the idea of this, Knuckles is supose to go with sonic to save the world but going back in time and things like that. He realizes though that he has something else to do. Where he ends up going is to a flash back to when his fire ant compainion, Archemedas, goes back to his ancestral home. Its where the island useto be. Knuckles doesn’t understand why he wants to go back there but he explains its like the eachidnas wanting to go back to Albion. Its just a need.

He also says how proud of Knuckles he is about making his own desisions about the future of the guardians and how he will be the last guardian and how he doesn’t think there’s a need for one. Soon enough Archy vanishes and leaves knuckles there to mope about it. He goes back to the floating island and ends up in his mothers house. She’s a mess when he gets there and when he askes whats wrong she tells him that there’s something wrong with his father.

She’s too much of a mess to tell him whats up so her new husband tells him as they’re going to the hospital. Knuckles is all upset about it, because no one knows exactally whats wrong with him. So they get there and they talk to a doctor who describes all the symptooms to them all and say that they’re not sure whats wrong, so they’re going to do a biopsy and run more tests and report back. and since knuckles is the only close reletive thats stable at the time they have him make the call about it.

He struggles with it and finally makes the desision to do it. hours later they come back to him to tell him that his dad has pancriatic cancer and if he lives 9 months they’ll be lucky. but there’s really nothing to can do for him. Crushing.

So Locke wakes up from surgery and Knuckles and Lara-Le come in to talk to him and he knows hes dying. So they do a lot of talking and a lot of clearing of the air, and then he dies. and the flash back ends with knuckles at his fathers grave saying how he’s changed his mind and he wants his daughter to have the choice no one had to be guardian or not.

the end.

I know all of that seems like a whole load of crap but I’ve always felt connected to these characters and I kinda feel like Guardian Locke is a lot like my own father. He’s someone that always seems like a distant character. You know that they’re there but its just like … they’re not existant. Thats something hat happened with my own father. He was always there but not really. He was always gone or traveling or somewhere else but not home with me and my mom really did a lot of the work when it came to making me turn into a person. But so did the other people that I knbew and the stuff that I saw and all the school that I went to.

He was only there when I was little and then poof. He was gone again… but ther ewas always this tension between us. there was always fighting and all of this tensionand all of the resentment about him hitting me and yelling at me and saying all of the rotten stuff to me. and how no matter what it was I was always the reason it happened. He took a lot of stress out on me and then he was gone and I moved around a lot. but when I saw him again it was always the same. I was always the target…

but behind my back, to other people I was the perfect thing to him… but he would never tell me anything like that to my face. It was always behind my back to people who don’t even know me and never will. Its just so frustrating to me.

As I read this comic I thought about the characters in play. Knuckles was left by his father at 9 years old to care for himself and to take this posision of guardian. He always had to be as good as he thought his father would want him to be. But he was never there. Then at 17 his father came back into his life, like out of nowhere.

I know its a comic book. I know its not real but in my head for most of my life this world has been my world. When my dad lost his job I was 17. and he was home all the time and I thought now I would get the chance to know my father… But it all blew up in my face. he was home all the time … So all of the fighting between my family was worse than ever. Everything was worse than it ever was with all the tension. HE was meaner to me and to my mom… and I feel like the rift between us is even bigger.

Everything is bigger. I want to know my father, I want to get to talk to him but everything he says and he does make me feel like I’m just in his way and a pain to him…. I’m just worried if something happens to him… and it’ll be my fault if something happens to him I’m not going to get to tell him or get to talk to him or get to say what I want to say…

I guess when I have more to post about this I will I’m just happy I got it out of my system

One thought on “okay. This is about the 10 thousanth time I’ve started this post

  1. Did I ever tell you, that you were the best thing ever created in the history of the universe? Oh, I guess you know now. đŸ˜›


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