I’m not in the mood to post today…. I’ve not been in the mood for anything now that I think about it….*sighs* This day and past night have been total god damned shit…
I just don’t feel like doing anything… can you blame me… First Vic got it..then I got it… and it’s really weighing down on me… really… I’m stressed so much… I feel like a weight has been dropped on me
I just want it to be taken off… but I know I need to accept all of this before the weight will be lifted… to help myself… I’m going to do my Informative speech on Aspergers… I feel so …
god damn it … I feel like such a fucking problem for everyone now… epically for Dave… He’s so sweet… and I feel like such a problem… I feel like… *sighs* you know… I want it all to be okay so I can be a “normal” Kid… I know this is what makes me unique but for gods sake… sometimes I think it would be better…. well… it would be better if I just went away…
Now that all of that’s out…. I’m okay now
I remember when I was five… waking up and finding them all dead… Blood covering the floor… bodies lying stone cold in the blood all over the blue carpet… hair tussled all over the floor… I just remember they were dead and I was five… And it still haunts me sometimes… on the nights I can’t sleep it’s like the angel of death is standing behind me with that weapon… the disgusting, rotting,bloody and molding skeleton with it’s weapon there to kill me…
And the clouds… the small puffy ones in the sky full of light… the shadows they cast… always the valley of death.The blackness the leave on the trees and land below..
Although I walk through the valley in the shadow of death… I shall fear… no… evil….
I’m watching the Julius Ceaser thing on Biography. To see how he died exactly and all that rot. It’s really interesting, I love stuff like this, it’s great… but I’m just so totally out of it tonight…. and I still need to place the order for my mando shit…
*pulls out her credit card and places the order* another $83.64… the first one was 135… woo…218.64…. I’m fucking broke again!
I need a hug too… even though I feel kinda sick all over… and I’m sore and exhausted… I got word today that I do have Auspersers syndrome… well, that fucked me over… I’m just hoping that they review my profile and tell me that it’s wrong… one stupid section and they tell me no then yes… I feel so fucked…
anyway… I’m gonna talk to Dave for a while and get my mind off of this… maybe make a T-shirt or shit…
maybe last post for the night… maybe not… whatever
I had energy before… but seriously I’m dead tired… What’s up with me… I’ve tried to avoid thinking all day today… it’s not been too hard to do.
*sighs* I can hardly keep my eyes open and I’m not doing anything…and my dad wanted to go on a ride… so I might have to..
so… maybe I’ll post later…. I’m just not in my right mind now
okay! This is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know how I was over at daves place last night…. and you know how we were going at it on his couch? Well now… he called me from his sisters basketball game to tell me that his dad saw us going at it! And he gave him the talk! Ouch. Hm…. I guess I’m not going to get to go back to his house any time soon! damn..
but I really want to do it even more now! Because I loved the feeling of it! *sighs* it was worth it!
Hm mm… care to translate for me?
whatever, I hope you won’t find out soon
Need to go, bye
“I gotta go to dictator school”
“Yeah. go Hitler bitch!”
“YOU CALLED ME HITLER AGAIN YOU BASTARD!!!!”
I LOVE YOU VICCI
“You’re such a pervert”
” You did it to me! You have to live with the consequences – damn it damn it damnit!”